


Price of 'Betrayal'

by Cat2000



Series: Angel and Lindsey Chronicles [3]
Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Blood drinking between a vampire and his mate, D/s, Exhibitionism, M/M, Spanking, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 14:56:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17082470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cat2000/pseuds/Cat2000
Summary: Disclaimer: We don't own anything from Angel:tS. We are making no money from this fic.Summary: Third in the Angel and Lindsey Chronicles. Lindsey is estranged from Angel due to his own actions. The bond doesn’t react well. And that’s nothing to Angel’s reaction. For the lover square in the spankers line for the bingo challenge over on Spanking_World at Livejournal





	Price of 'Betrayal'

**Author's Note:**

> Authors: Hope1iz and Cat2000  
> Warning(s): Consensual spanking; D/s; Slash; Sexual content; Blood drinking (between a vampire and his mate only); voyeurism/exhibitionism.

This wasn't the first time Angel had found himself in a dark, brooding phase; but it was the first time in a long time. He wasn't angry; he could understand why the others had felt like they had to do something. Why they felt his way wouldn't have worked to save Darla. But it hurt that Lindsey had taken it upon himself to distract Angel...to use their bond and their shared feelings to trick him so that Wes and Cordy could get Darla to the hospital.

 

He couldn't really argue with the results, but he could feel hurt. And he'd closed himself off physically and emotionally, not wanting to see anyone; not wanting to give voice to how bad he felt. He couldn't even bring himself to talk to Lindsey, even though he desperately needed his mate...no matter how hurt he was feeling.

 

***

 

Lindsey was currently staying with Wesley. He'd wanted to go home immediately after the others had got Darla to the hospital, but Angel's face had... the look in his eyes had been gut-wrenching and the vampire had sped off, leaving Lindsey behind. And their connection through the bond was suddenly empty. Not gone- Lindsey could still feel it thrumming under his skin- but as if somehow Angel was blocking him. He couldn't feel his mate. At all. It was unnerving.

 

It was now several weeks later, and Lindsey hadn't seen Angel once. Darla had been cured and moved in with Cordy. The only reason he even knew the vampire was still in town was because Fred had retrieved some of his clothes for him when she went to get the rest of her stuff; she'd decided to stay with Lorne, not wanting to seem as if she was taking sides. Doyle had decided she had the right of it and moved in with Lorne too...at least temporarily.

 

Lindsey, not wanting to upset Angel any more than he already had, did his best to block his own feelings and emotions from the bond. He had no clue if he was successful or not. He hoped he was successful. As miserable, scared and guilty as he felt for going against his Utselii (even if he _knew_ it had been the right option for Darla), if he wasn't successful, it meant that Angel _could_ feel it and _just didn't care_.

 

***

 

The emptiness was painful. The bond was there, under the surface, but nothing was coming through from Lindsey; and Angel was hurting too much to open it from his end. He barely ate; only enough to keep himself from going into a coma. He'd barely washed; it wasn't like anyone was there to look nice for. He wanted Lindsey with a desperation that was utterly terrifying, but after the sense of betrayal....

 

It was times like this that Angel missed the ability to get drunk; to black out and stop feeling. The apartment was littered with empty bottles, but there was no oblivion...and now he was just curled up on the bed that somehow still smelled of his human. Cuddling the pillow Lindsey had used the last time they'd been together. Weeks ago.

 

***

 

Wes watched Lindsey closely, more worried than he let on to the younger man. It was obvious Lindsey was homesick and _heartsick_. He'd planned to stay out of the mess between Lindsey and Angel; felt like he'd interfered enough just by joining Cordy in convincing Lindsey to distract Angel the way he had. He was still convinced taking Darla to the hospital was the correct thing to do... but the situation could have been handled so much better. "There are a few demons making meals of the homeless... Cordy, Gunn and I are going to stop them. You up to helping?" he finally asked the ex-lawyer, in the hope that a distraction would snap Lindsey out of the state he was in.

 

"Yeah..." Lindsey finally answered, after a too long pause. "I'll help." He gave a weak smile. "Want me to be one of the homeless? Set a trap?" He hadn't showered in enough days where he could blend in very easily.

 

"Let's wait for Cordy and Gunn to get here before deciding that..." Wes gave his own weak smile, making a mental note to warn the other two to keep an eye on Lindsey. The feverish look in his eye didn't bode well.

 

It didn't take much longer before Cordy and Gunn arrived. Cordy wrinkled her nose as she got a whiff from Lindsey's body odor. "When was the last time you took a shower?" she asked him outright.

 

Gunn snorted softly as he walked over to join Wes. "What's the plan?"

 

Lindsey wrinkled his nose and twisted his head to sniff himself before making a face. "Longer ago than I realized... " he admitted with a snort, before turning so he could see Gunn and Wes as well.

 

"Plan is to have Lindsey go hang with some of the homeless while we hide not too far away to take out whatever is eating them..." Wes said, going with Lindsey's suggestion because it made sense.

 

"You know, as soon as we get back from that, you need to have a shower. Or a bath," Cordy added. "And then maybe you could go to Angel. Get you _both_ out of this dark, brooding funk. It's not a whole lot of fun when it's just him doing it and we all got used to him being...not exactly the life of the party, but less...emo boy."

 

"I'll take a shower, if only to spare you my odor, but... that's all I can promise." Lindsey shifted, unable to look at any of the others. "He doesn't want to see me."

 

Wes sighed. "I'm pretty sure you're wrong about that. But that's neither here nor now. Are we ready to go?" He looked around at the others.

 

Gunn nodded. "Yeah. I'm ready to go."

 

Cordy looked like she might want to add some more comments to Lindsey, but all she said was, "We can talk about it when we get back."

 

"Then let's go..." Wes led the way.

 

Lindsey followed making sure he had some weapons hidden on him.

 

***

 

It was hard to think...to concentrate. Angel wasn't sure the ache was just caused by the bond; even before he'd first bitten Lindsey and bonded the human to him, he'd felt drawn to the young man; knew Lindsey had felt something of the same draw to him.

 

He couldn't feel physically tired...but emotionally, he was drained. And he missed his human. Missed Lindsey with an ache that refused to go away. The words that came into his mind slipped through the bond without any conscious thought. _I need you, Lindsey...._ The words were accompanied by a sense of loss, love, longing....

 

***

 

Things had been going to plan. The demon had made his move and the others had quickly run in to assist Lindsey before the thing could gut him. Turned out that demon was a coward, though; seeing that it was out-numbered and its meal was fighting back, it ran. Lindsey pursued.

 

That might not have been a problem except, just as he was about to behead the thing, he felt the bond open; or, at least, he assumed it opened. The feelings of loss, longing and love overwhelmed and distracted him just enough for him to miss... and for him not to evade when the creature swiped sharp claws at his throat.

 

Wes arrived and intervened just in time to prevent Lindsey's throat from being ripped out. He couldn't prevent the nasty scratch across his shoulder. Lindsey staggered as his arm suddenly felt numb and on fire all at once, though he did his best to hide it from Wes... and hoped his pain didn't go through the bond to Angel. He didn't want the first connection the vampire felt from him in weeks to be one of agonizing pain.

 

Gunn quickly headed to Wes and Lindsey, followed closely by Cordy who took one look at the scratch and immediately moved to keep pressure on it. "We taking him to hospital, or giving him to Angel, since we know being bitten will probably help him heal faster?" she asked Wesley.

 

"Given the way it already looks inflamed, I think Angel. A hospital won't be able to deal with the toxins it carries on its claws," Wes responded, having recognized the type of demon it was, now that it was dead. "The sooner, the better...."

 

"Wait... I can't just show up after weeks... and looking like... and... " Lindsey tried to protest, but he suddenly felt head-achy and dizzy, listing sideways into Cordy.

 

"Like he's gonna care," Cordy muttered, even as Gunn reached out to take Lindsey's weight, getting Wes to help move Lindsey into the car.

 

As agonizing pain came through the bond, Angel's spike of concern and worry became tangible. _Lindsey?_ There was a sense of franticness in the word, as Angel moved at top speed for the first time in weeks.

 

Lindsey might have tried to answer, but it was all he could do to keep from passing out. If he'd needed proof that Angel still cared about him, though, his name frantically carried over the bond was it. Learning that Angel still cared made him feel good. Unfortunately, it also caused the guilt he already felt to spike. He didn't deserve Angel's care or concern. He didn't have strength to argue against his friends, though, and in little time at all, he was bundled into the car, Wesley speeding toward Angel's apartment.

 

Next thing he knew, Wes had parked the car and the ex-watcher and Gunn were taking him up the stairs... carrying nearly all his weight, as he could barely stand.

 

Angel had only stayed at the apartment because he didn't know where his life mate was; but the moment he heard the footsteps in the building, he was heading out of the apartment, wasting no time in taking Lindsey from the two men.

 

Lindsey stayed awake just long enough to see it was Angel coming for him, before he passed out.

 

Wes quickly gave Angel all the pertinent information on what had wounded Lindsey, before he swallowed hard. "It... it doesn't feel like the right time to try and apologize for the poor way we handled things. So... I'll just say, if you need anything from me, please let me know and... if you can stomach talking to me once he is mended... I'd appreciate the opportunity to do so...." Wes paused, waiting to either be ignored or dismissed, not optimistic Angel would even listen to the few words he'd just said.

 

Angel wrapped his arms tightly around Lindsey, feeling a huge amount of tension seep out of him at the feel of his life mate with him... back where he belonged. He was still hurting, still upset, but he was able to nod to Wesley. "When he's recovered...I'll call you." He then wasted no time in carrying his life mate into the apartment.

 

Once inside, Angel swiftly carried Lindsey through to the bathroom, where he could begin cleaning out the wound, planning to feed some of his own blood to his life mate once he'd done so.

 

Even though he was unconscious, Lindsey could sense he was safe- where he was supposed to be- and relaxed, making it easier for Angel to maneuver him. If he'd been awake, he would have been ashamed for Angel to see him so filthy and unkempt.

 

Angel was very gentle, letting soothing feelings of love run through the bond as he cleaned the wound out, taking every opportunity to touch his life mate. He then carried Lindsey through to the bedroom, settling them on the bed so he could bite into his own wrist and feed his human his own blood, supporting Lindsey's head on his other arm.

 

Lindsey latched on, drinking immediately. Even knocked out, his body knew what to do... knew how to obey his master.

 

Angel held Lindsey close and tight, letting his human drink as much as possible before he carefully pulled his wrist away, watching his life mate worriedly.

 

Angel's blood was the extra boost Lindsey needed to overcome the toxins he'd been infected with. If it had been more than a scratch, it might have been different, but his body was able to begin to fight. It wouldn't be easy or pain free, but he'd survive. Lindsey blinked open blurry eyes. "Utselii?" he whispered hoarsely, his voice hopeful but afraid. Was he imagining being in his master's arms, where he belonged? He hoped not. He began to cry silently.

 

Angel pulled Lindsey closer to himself. "I've got you, my heart. My life mate," he whispered, nuzzling into his human's hair...inhaling Lindsey's scent. Love and longing came clear through the bond...a sense of calm; that the missing piece was back in place.

 

The sense of 'wrong, wrong, _wrong_ ' that had blanketed Lindsey from the moment he'd made the decision not to follow his master home was suddenly gone and Lindsey went limp with relief. His tears also became vocal as he realized he wasn’t hallucinating; he really was home. With a sob, he began to struggle; not to get away, but to get as close as possible to Angel, all the while whispering, "Yours," in a broken, hopeful and needy tone. He _had_ to belong to the vampire. He'd done a good job of hiding it from the others, but it had been physically painful to be estranged from his bond mate. He just hadn't realized _how_ painful until the pain was suddenly gone. "Please, Utselii... master... please..." he sobbed, as he continued to eliminate any space between them (his clothing hindering the effort), begging- without using the words- for forgiveness. For Angel to lay claim and take him... let him come home completely.

 

Angel pulled Lindsey as close to himself as it was possible to get his human, kissing Lindsey's neck and quickly stripping the human of his clothes, leaving Lindsey naked. All the while, he kept whispering to his human in Gaelic...murmuring the words into Lindsey's neck as he wrapped his arms tighter around his human.

 

Lindsey couldn't get close enough to his mate. While he'd blocked Angel from feeling what he was going through the last several weeks, believing that was what his mate wanted, he wasn't blocking now. He wasn't able to. Every emotion and physical feeling he had was carrying through the bond clearly. The fear that Angel didn't want him anymore and wouldn't, _couldn't_ forgive him; the soul crushing guilt and remorse he felt for what he'd done; the deep, physical pain he'd felt due to the connection being strained; his need for Angel to take over completely and show him- and the bond- that he still belonged. Everything jumbled up into a twisted morass and all Lindsey could do was sob and cling to his vampire and beg. "...Please, Utselii... so sorry... please...."

 

Angel tightened his hold on his life mate, his own love and need for his mate carrying clearly through to Lindsey. He kissed his human's neck repeatedly and then bit, clinging tightly to his life mate; as if he could merge them together.

 

Lindsey shivered at the bite, but nearly immediately, the possessive action calmed him, and he slumped against Angel; fully submissive and accepting whatever his mate decided to do. His deep remorse and guilt still thrummed through the bond, but the fear was easing and the sense of hope he'd been clinging to grew. "...So sorry, Utselii... please forgive me..." He whimpered softly.

 

Angel clutched his human tighter to himself, drinking a small amount of Lindsey's blood. None of the animal blood he had in his fridge could even touch on what it felt like to drink from his life mate. _I love you. I love you so much,_ came through the bond, accompanied by a sense of longing...the faintest hint of remembered pain coming through at how they'd been separated.

 

"Love you... so much..." Lindsey whispered. "...Hurt so bad being 'way from you. Hurt so bad not feeling you... blocking you... felt so wrong..." Lindsey whimpered as he thought of how it had felt. Painful wasn't even the correct word for how it had felt; it had been excruciating and there were times it took everything in him to keep the pain from showing to Wes and Cordy; to keep the wall up that he was holding in place, because if he let it down even a little, Angel would have felt how much he hurt and he'd believed the vampire didn't _want_ to feel him.

 

Angel's arms tightened around his life mate at those words and the feelings coming through. _I'm sorry, my heart,_ whispered through the bond. _I desperately wanted to reach out to you, but I was too much of a coward._ He kissed and nuzzled against Lindsey's neck as he kept his fangs in place, his hands stroking almost desperately down his human's body as Lindsey's scent calmed and settled him.

 

"I deserved it..." Lindsey whispered, hints of the deep guilt he still felt leaking through in the words. It was obvious he believed it. "...Deserved to hurt..." He gripped onto Angel desperately, afraid to let go in case the vampire holding him and calming him ended up being a hallucination brought on by the demon's venom in his shoulder.

 

Pulling back and licking the wound in his life mate's neck closed, Angel whispered, "No, my heart. I was upset and hurt, but I never stopped loving you." His arms were still tight around Lindsey, fingers ghosting over his human's skin...needing to feel and touch his life mate.

 

"It was my fault you were upset and hurt... I shouldn't ever a done what I did... shoulda been honest and told ya what we wanted to do and not used your trust in me to distract you... was so wrong..." He whimpered, his guilt spiking. "...Love you so much and never wanted to hurt you...."

 

Closing his eyes, Angel nuzzled in closer to Lindsey, tightening his arms around his mate. "You feel so good," he whispered. "I needed you so much. I wanted you back with me, so much." His hands slid down Lindsey's back to his human's thighs, gently parting them so he could caress his human's inner thighs.

 

Lindsey quivered, opening his legs at Angel's urging, his body taking an interest immediately in what the vampire was doing, even as he nuzzled against Angel's shoulder. "...Belong to you," he whispered. "...Need to be with you always...."

 

"I'm never going to let you go," Angel whispered, his fingers ghosting over Lindsey's inner thighs. "I'm going to look after you...stake my claim on you, so you don't ever forget who your master, who your _Utselii_ is, and then I'm going to take you through to the bathroom and bathe you."

 

"... _Please, master_... please _claim_ me..." Lindsey whispered, pressing as close to Angel as he could without dislodging Angel's hand. "...Yours... complete..." He shivered, kissing the vampire's shoulder.

 

Angel kissed Lindsey's hair, running his fingers over his human's body; paying attention to the temperature, so he knew if his life mate was in a bad enough way that they'd have to wait. Love, longing and need came through the bond vividly.

 

While his shoulder still ached from the claws, Angel's blood had gone a long way to preventing further illness from the poison. Lindsey's temperature was fine. Any lingering heat or soreness was mostly limited to the area that had been scratched. Lindsey didn't even notice it, really. He was too busy focusing on the fact that he was back where he belonged and was safe in his Utselii's arms. "...Yours..." he whispered, his own love, longing and need pulsing through the bond.

 

Angel carefully rolled them over, so he was pinning Lindsey to the bed, kissing his way down his human's shoulders and back, letting his fingers ghost over and explore the tattoos indicating his ownership of his human.

 

Lindsey shivered at the affection, holding still so Angel could reclaim every part of him. His tattoos heated at his master's touch.

 

Angel continued to kiss and caress his human's body, gliding his fingers down to intimately stroke between Lindsey's legs before he reached out for the lube.

 

"...Love you, Utselii, need you so much..." Lindsey quivered, close to tears again. He needed to belong to Angel, to feel like he hadn't broken their connection, to be owned by the vampire. "...Love you and I'm so sorry..." he whispered.

 

"I love you." Angel kissed the tattoo on Lindsey's neck. "I've got you. I won't let you go. _Never again_ ," he promised, before using the lube liberally and then pushing carefully inside his mate.

 

Lindsey let himself relax enough that Angel could easily push in, but then clenched around the vampire tightly, as if afraid he'd leave after all. "...Yours..." He whimpered softly. It had been enough time between the last time Angel had taken him that he was tight, and the vampire stretched him. He welcomed the slight burn of the stretching, as it meant Angel was claiming him again. Showing him who he belonged to.

 

Angel kissed Lindsey's neck, opening himself up to his human to show Lindsey just how good it felt to be inside him. He went gentle as he thrust into his human, whispering the word, " _Mine_ ," every time he did so.

 

Lindsey relaxed when he felt Angel's feelings. His fear that Angel would leave him slowly ebbed away and he was able to enjoy being reclaimed. He began to repeat, "... _Yours_..." in a whisper after every thrust and Angel's possessive claim of 'mine'.

 

It was almost embarrassing how close Angel felt himself to releasing, considering how long he and Lindsey had been apart for. Once more, he bit his life mate's neck, pinning Lindsey under him as if worried his mate would disappear if Angel didn't hold on.

 

At the bite, Lindsey slumped under Angel, taking all of the vampire's weight onto himself and opening his legs further so that his mate could bury himself as deeply as possible. "...Yours, Utselii... always yours..." He let out a tiny sob, his relief at finally being back home and in his master's arms where he belonged overwhelming him. The bite and the pinning made him feel safer and more secure than he'd felt since he'd left Angel's side. It caught him by surprise when he released onto the bed with a low moan.

 

Feeling Lindsey release was all Angel needed to let go himself and his grip on his life mate tightened as it came over him. Kissing Lindsey's neck, he withdrew his fangs, licking the wound closed. "I'm _never_ going to let you go again." A possessive growl surrounded the words.

 

Lindsey whimpered, but the feeling of acceptance and relief at the growled words was clear through the slowly healing bond. "...Want that..." he admitted hesitantly. After what he'd done, he didn't deserve to get anything he wanted. He squeezed his eyes shut as tears fell down his cheeks, deep guilt and remorse carrying through the bond to Angel.

 

Carefully, as if Lindsey was made from fragile glass, Angel gathered his life mate into his arms, lifting him from the bed and carrying him through to the bathroom. "I'm going to take you again," he whispered in Lindsey's ear. "And then I'm going to make sure there's no way you can lose any of what I give you."

 

Lindsey shivered at the words, snuggling as close to Angel as possible; grateful that the vampire allowed him to snuggle to him. "...I want that, master..." he whispered, nuzzling into Angel's shoulder.

 

Angel stroked Lindsey's hair, kissing his human's face and head before he began to run the bath. When it was full, he carefully stepped into it, lowering himself into the water before placing Lindsey on his legs.

 

Lindsey snuggled as close to Angel as he could get, even as he felt the warm water surrounding them both. He forced himself to relax so the vampire could move him however he wanted, though. "...Love you so much..." he whispered. "I want to come home and stay, master. I kept the rings that you gave me...that showed I was yours...never removed them at all!" He lifted his hair off his ears, so Angel could see, then arched his back so he could look and see the piercings on his chest as well. He bit his lip uncertainly.

 

Angel stroked Lindsey's hair away from his ears, leaning in to kiss each lobe before doing the same to his life mate's nipples. "I never want you apart from me again," he whispered, before pressing a deep, possessive kiss to Lindsey's lips.

 

"I never should have been apart from you at all..." Lindsey's voice caught. "I should have come home immediately...even if you hated me for what I did, I needed to be with you..." He sniffled, reaching up and wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

 

"I would _never_ hate you." Angel gently took Lindsey's hand, raising it to his lips and kissing it. "I needed you. I _need_ you. So much." With his other hand, he gently began washing his human, pressing kisses to various parts of Lindsey's body.

 

Lindsey could feel the truth in Angel's words and relaxed into the vampire's arms, his relief almost palpable. He felt a moment's embarrassment and shame when he realized how filthy he was, and that Angel was bathing him like a very young child; but that felt right and good too, so he didn't try and pull away or insist on doing it himself. He submitted fully to Angel's care.

 

Angel continued to carefully wash Lindsey's body and press kisses to his skin, moving his life mate to get to other parts of his body. "I brought you home with me when we were on opposite sides and I didn't know if you would ever respond to me," he reminded Lindsey. "I won't _ever_ stop wanting and needing you with me."

 

"I betrayed your trust, though.... I don't deserve to be with you..." Lindsey blurted, swallowing hard when he realized what he'd just said out loud. His guilty feelings spiked.

 

"Yes, you do, my heart," Angel responded, kissing Lindsey's neck. "And we'll deal with it. But I'm not going to let you go." He slid his hand down his life mate's back, giving Lindsey's bottom a firm pat.

 

Somehow, the possessive words and the completely normal 'pat' that told Lindsey without words what he had coming his way convinced Lindsey that Angel meant what he said, and he wasn't going to be let go. A wave of gratitude slipped through the bond as he thought about the fact he would pay for his actions. "...You'll punish me?" he asked softly, blushing when his voice sounded hopeful instead of nervous.

 

Angel tightened his arms around Lindsey. "Yes, my heart. After I take you again and make sure you'll be feeling me for a good long while, I'm going to turn you over my knee and turn your pretty bottom red."

 

"... _Your_ pretty bottom..." Lindsey mumbled with a blush and hid his face against Angel's shoulder. He belonged to the vampire, after all. That meant, whatever Angel did, it was done to a part of Lindsey that belonged to Angel.

 

Angel pressed a kiss to the back of Lindsey's head. "I love you," he whispered. "And now that I've got you back, I'm not letting you go again."

 

"Promise? Promise I'll never be allowed to leave like... like I did? Ever again? It... _It hurt_..." Lindsey swallowed back tears at remembering the pain, emotional and physical. Being with the vampire again had caused the pain to ebb and slowly ease up, but it still hurt a little. It probably would hurt until the bond was settled once more; it would probably take several more times of Angel claiming him for that to occur, though.

 

"I know," Angel said softly, regret for his life mate's pain filling his voice and echoing through the bond. "But I'm not going to let you go again. I'm going to keep holding you tightly." He allowed the image that had come to his mind to slip through the bond to Lindsey: his life mate with a collar and leash that Angel had hold of.

 

Lindsey shivered, looking up into Angel's face, his eyes wide and hopeful. "Please, Utselii? I'm yours... need to be tied to you as much as possible...."

 

Angel pressed a gentle kiss to Lindsey's lips. "I picked out a collar for you already," he admitted, remembering when they'd come home after being trapped in Pylea and had talked about Lindsey wearing a collar then.

 

Lindsey smiled at that. "I can't wait till you collar me. To feel how much you own me...." He hesitantly shifted and kissed Angel chastely. After what he did, he wasn't taking Angel's permission to do anything for granted. If Angel wanted to stop him, it would be easy to do so.

 

Angel gently cupped Lindsey's cheek, thumb idly stroking over his life mate's face. "I love you. I can't fully explain just how much."

 

"No need to explain, Utselii. You show me how much all the time and I feel how much here..." He took Angel's hand and pressed it over his heart.

 

Angel let his fingers stroke over the tattoo that marked Lindsey as his. "I'm going to put the collar on you before I take you again, my heart."

 

"Yes, sir..." Lindsey's smile was sweet and accepting.

 

Kissing him, gently and lingeringly, Angel then helped Lindsey out of the bath, so he could dry his life mate off, pressing kisses to his skin.

 

Lindsey was feeling much better, being in Angel's presence and stabilizing the bond helping immensely. The area he'd been scratched was still inflamed and hot, however; Angel's blood working hard to overcome the poison. He blinked as he heard the doorbell.

 

Angel gently stroked Lindsey's cheek, kissing him, before he moved them both at superspeed, so he could put clothes on him and Lindsey and then quickly guide his life mate to the door, so he could open it without letting Lindsey out of his sight.

 

Lindsey stayed in place, a bit dizzy at having moved so fast, only Angel's firm grasp holding him up.

 

Fred blinked at finding Angel answering the door before she could sneak away. Her eyes brightened when she saw Lindsey, though. "You came home!" She hopped in excitement. "I brought you blood from Lorne's." She turned to Angel, still hopping. "There are several bags... about 25 gallons worth..." she added. "Goodnight! I've got to tell the others!" She beamed at them both and ran down the stairs before either man could respond.

 

Angel's arm slid round Lindsey's waist and he kissed his life mate firmly. "I didn't want to let go of you." And he didn't even to pick up the blood, which he did one-handed.

 

Lindsey snuggled close, walking with Angel to the kitchen so the vampire could store the blood. He wasn't worried about his own food. He could order whatever he needed, and have it delivered... if Angel didn’t take care of it himself.

 

"There's nothing perishable left, but there's some stuff still in the freezer," Angel said. "Some tinned things too...."

 

"I'll be okay, Master..." Lindsey whispered, nuzzling against Angel again. "I haven't been very hungry..." he admitted, not going so far as to say he'd been skipping meals and not eating much when he did eat. Angel probably could see he'd lost weight.

 

"Hungry or not, I'm going to make sure you eat properly and enough." Stroking Lindsey's hair, Angel asked, "When was the last time you ate something?"

 

Lindsey looked at the floor, anxiety slinking through the bond. He knew Angel wouldn’t like the answer. "Lunch yesterday...."

 

Angel sighed and gently pushed Lindsey down onto one of the chairs at the table. "Food first. Then claiming."

 

Lindsey whined softly at having to delay but didn't argue. Angel decided... not him. "Yessir..." he whispered.

 

Angel stroked a hand through his life mate's hair, then moved to start cooking some food for Lindsey.

 

"I... I haven't had an appetite..." Lindsey said hesitantly. "Cordy and Wes forced me to eat when they could tie me down long enough, but...."

 

"I'm going to feed you, my heart," Angel said. "I know what you've been through. Hurting. Separation. Not able to do even the basic things to take care of yourself." He stepped over and kissed Lindsey, hard and passionately, before whispering, "But we're not apart from each other anymore."

 

Lindsey returned the kiss as deeply as he could, sighing when Angel pulled back. "If I suffered, it was my own fault..." he admitted quietly. "I should have come home. Everyone was telling me to, but I let my guilt and fear that you didn't want me, keep me away. Even if you didn't talk to me, at least I would have been with you...."

 

"I wanted you," Angel whispered. "I will _always_ want you, no matter what. And I'll keep on proving that to you."

 

"I behaved like a child, running away from home and afraid to return to face the music. I'm sorry, Utselii..." Lindsey looked at his hands, guilt racing through the bond again.

 

Finishing preparing the food, Angel helped Lindsey to stand so he could sit and settle his life mate on his lap, kissing Lindsey's neck. "I'm just so happy to have you home," he whispered.

 

Lindsey leaned toward the kiss. "I never want to leave you ever again. Please don't let me...."

 

"I won't. Not _ever_ ," Angel promised, beginning to feed his life mate, even as he continued to kiss Lindsey's neck.

 

Lindsey ate what he was fed, obediently and without complaint. Soon, he felt full, though. "Do I need to eat it all?" he asked nervously.

 

"I'd like you to try a couple more mouthfuls." Angel kissed the side of his throat.

 

"Yessir..." Lindsey swallowed and ate another bite, then another, then another. It was difficult. He had to reteach his stomach to eat a normal amount.

 

"Good," Angel praised softly. "Very good. I love you." He kissed the other side of Lindsey's throat.

 

Lindsey ate another three bites before he had to let the food settle. He didn't ask if he could stop again. Angel would tell him when he'd eaten enough.

 

Angel was gentle and encouraging as he stroked and kissed Lindsey's neck, pausing when his life mate needed to let the food settle.

 

Lindsey was surprised when he managed, with Angel's encouragement, to eat the whole plate. "I did good?" he couldn't help but ask, seeking Angel's approval.

 

" _Very good_." Angel kissed Lindsey's neck, letting his teeth graze over his life mate's skin.

 

Lindsey shivered at the feeling, slanting his head so Angel could have easier access.

 

"I love you. So much." Angel gently nipped at Lindsey's throat. A possessive growl escaped him. " _You're mine_."

 

"I'm yours... " Lindsey agreed, in a fully submissive and very needy voice.

 

Lifting Lindsey into his arms, Angel carried his life mate into their bedroom, heading over to the wardrobe to retrieve the collar he'd purchased.

 

Lindsey wrapped his arms around his mate, holding on tightly and snuggling close. "I love you..." he whispered.

 

"I love you. And you're home. For good," Angel whispered, as he retrieved the collar.

 

Lindsey swallowed back tears, his sense of relief at Angel's words making it difficult not to cry.

 

Settling them both on the bed, Angel held up the collar, so his life mate could see it.

 

Lindsey smiled. "It's perfect..." he whispered, shifting closer so Angel could wrap the most recent sign of his ownership around his neck.

 

Angel settled the collar in place and then stroked the side of Lindsey's face. "I'm never going to let you go."

 

"I belong to you..." Lindsey whispered with a smile, slanting his head so his face pressed into Angel's hand.

 

Kissing his life mate, Angel gently eased them both down onto the bed, pinning Lindsey in place and beginning to kiss down his human's chest and stomach.

 

Lindsey moaned softly, lifting his hands to rest on Angel's shoulders and opening his legs for his master.

 

Angel let his fingers ghost down over Lindsey's hips, nuzzling and then gently nipping at the skin of his life mate's inner thighs.

 

"...Master...please...." Lindsey whimpered. Perhaps at another time, he'd call Angel by name. At this moment, he needed to feel Angel own him, be in control... claim him.

 

"I'm going to take my time, my life mate," Angel whispered. "We were apart for far too long. I'm going to claim you thoroughly."

 

Lindsey let out a tiny sob, but through the bond was happiness and contentment at Angel's words. "I don’t know if I can hold still for you, Love...."

 

"You don't need to worry about that," Angel murmured. "I can hold you just as still as I need to." He gently bit Lindsey's inner thigh.

 

Lindsey moaned loudly as pleasure shot from the point of the bite, up and down his leg. His member immediately rose in response and he couldn't help but buck his hips. Angel's words were immediately put to the test.

 

Angel easily held onto Lindsey's hips, holding his life mate still enough to keep his fangs easily in place. He nuzzled and kissed, before pulling out of the bite and repeating the action on Lindsey's other inner thigh.

 

Lindsey whimpered at the stinging pleasure, his fingers gripping Angel's shoulders tightly. His member twitched faintly, tiny drops pearling at the tip.

 

Angel slowly withdrew, licking Lindsey's thigh and then taking his human into his mouth.

 

Lindsey didn't know if it was the bond doing its best to repair the damage that had been done by their less than peaceful separation, or if it was just because he needed so much to give his entirety to his lover and hold nothing back; but it only took a moment of being held in Angel's mouth before his hips began to thrust and he began to release with deep, shuddering sobs.

 

Angel stayed in place as his life mate's release finished and then he moved up to kiss Lindsey, gently and tenderly. "I love you. My heartmate," he whispered.

 

Lindsey returned the kiss, almost dazedly. "Love you, Utselii... Cor Meum.... Meae...."

 

Angel kissed him a bit more firmly and then stroked his life mate's hair. A sense of possessive love came clearly through the bond; the sense of _mine_ strong.

 

Lindsey felt lightheaded, his emotions and the bond reaffirming itself making it difficult for him to focus. All he could do was submit to Angel and let the vampire control and protect him.

 

Kissing Lindsey deeply and passionately, Angel carefully rolled his life mate over, beginning to kiss and gently nip down his human's spine.

 

Lindsey was moaning softly, the words almost inaudible, but just within range of Angel's hearing. " _Please, Utselii, forgive me...make me yours forever...didn't mean to be bad...didn't mean to take myself away from you...._ "

 

Angel kissed and let his teeth graze over Lindsey's neck, nuzzling in close to his human and whispering a soft, "I love you. I'll never let you go again." He reached out to pick up the lube, along with another item.

 

Lindsey whimpered at the words, clenching his fingers into the pillow. He believed his mate. He believed he was loved and would never be let go. He still felt very guilty, though and that was clear through the bond. Even if Angel had said he was forgiven, he wasn't able to forgive himself. All he could do was submit and hope that he could prove how much he loved and needed Angel by giving himself completely to the vampire.

 

Angel ran his hands down Lindsey's back, squeezing his hips possessively before he used the lube and pushed carefully inside his life mate, kissing and then gently biting his human's neck.

 

Lindsey whimpered again, then sighed softly, letting his body go limp so that Angel could move him however he wanted and move as deeply as he wanted. He belonged to the vampire. Whatever Angel wanted to take, he would give.

 

Angel nuzzled Lindsey's neck, letting his love and sense of peace now that his human was with him flow through the bond to his human. Just having Lindsey this close to him calmed and settled Angel.

 

Feeling Angel at peace helped soothe Lindsey. Having the vampire covering him with his body, holding him down with his weight, soothed him even more. "...Yours, Utselii... only yours..." he whispered, in a needy tone.

 

 _For always,_ came through the bond, the words a promise, as Angel kissed and nuzzled Lindsey's neck, beginning to thrust inside his human.

 

As his lover began to move in him, Lindsey felt his tattoos heat, felt the bond begin to pulse in his body; and he had to arch his back and open his legs wider. "Please, Master, harder... make me feel you in me even after you aren't," he began to beg.

 

Angel began to thrust harder and faster, drinking a small amount of his life mate's blood before he pulled back out of the bite; biting into his own wrist and holding it to Lindsey's mouth, so his human could drink.

 

Lindsey shivered as he felt his mate drink. He could feel Angel in his bones and the vampire drinking had him on edge. When his mate fed him, a feeling like warm honey spread through his veins and his need for the older man coalesced into a deep, throbbing ache centered where Angel connected and moved in him. The ache was only mildly satisfied by the hard thrusts. "Please, master." His begging sounded pathetic to him, as if his life depended on Angel giving what he begged for. Maybe it did. "Please, harder... pound me into the mattress until I can't move... until I can't do anything without you or your help...." He was crying by this point, the bond wanted so much.

 

Angel kissed Lindsey, hard and deeply, as he began to go harder and deeper into his life mate. He pinned his human to the bed, opening himself entirely up to Lindsey through the bond so his human could feel everything from Angel; all his love and care. How much Angel needed and wanted him.

 

Lindsey opened himself fully through the bond and physically. Angel's movements were causing him to shift forward and back with each thrust; the friction it caused had brought his member to fullness again. He felt overcome, completely owned by his mate and for the first time since finally returning, the bond felt whole and not broken. He began to sob with relief, begging Angel to keep taking him as hard and deep as possible and not let up. He would feel this for days after... and that's what he wanted. _Needed_. He needed to feel possessed and owned by his master, his lover, his life mate. "...Use me up completely, Meae. Break me so you can put me back together the right way..." he gasped. "...Don’t wanna feel wrong anymore...."

 

Angel kissed and stroked, speeding up his thrusts and going harder. His fingers gripped hold of Lindsey's hips, angling his life mate's body to make it easier, his release beginning to come over him. "My life mate," he whispered. " _Mine_. I wasn't happy without you, my heart. Not even close."

 

"Yours..." Lindsey breathed out as if making an oath, before losing himself completely. His body released, spasms rocking him as his vision went white and sound disappeared into a vacuum of pleasure. The only focus in his life was Angel and giving the vampire _everything_ he was.

 

Angel slumped over his life mate as his release came over himself. He pressed a tender kiss to Lindsey's lips, stroking the side of his human's face and neck. "You're mine," he whispered. "I love you so much. I missed you terribly, my heart."

 

Lindsey slumped into the bed, kissing Angel back weakly, nuzzling against his mate as much as he could, but otherwise lying still so as not to dislodge the older man from off top of him. It felt safer, being blanketed by the vampire... being held down by his weight and knowing he wouldn't be able to move or even shift if Angel didn't allow. "I love you, Utselii. I was lost without you..." he admitted in a tiny, broken voice before beginning to cry softly, quietly... but still loudly enough Angel would hear. Every part of him belonged to his mate, even his tears.

 

Angel began to gently kiss his lifemate's tears away, keeping Lindsey pinned under him. "I need you so much," he whispered. "I wished I could get drunk, so I could black out and forget how much losing you hurt."

 

"It wouldn't work..." Lindsey sniffled and blushed. "...I tried it. Nearly poisoned myself, drinking so much. Cordy and Wes hid all the booze..." he admitted, in a shaky breath.

 

Angel slid his hands down his life mate's waist and hips, gently patting Lindsey's backside while staying inside his human. "You won't be drinking that much now, my heart."

 

"No, sir... won't do _anything_ without permission... not any more..." Lindsey agreed quietly. It wasn't that he expected Angel to lay down the law and treat him like a slave or prisoner; it was because he was so unsettled and off-kilter at having been estranged from his mate that he didn't _want_ to do anything without Angel telling him it was okay.

 

Angel kissed the side of his life mate's neck, running his fingers over Lindsey's hips and down his thighs. "I'm going to keep hold of you and _never_ let you go," he whispered.

 

"Good... don' wanna ever be let go. Wanna be held and kept by you forever. Being away from you hurts too much..." he whispered. He didn't say he wanted to obey Angel and have Angel tell him what to do... but as that's what he was currently feeling, and he wasn't hiding anything from the bond, it was likely the vampire could feel that as well.

 

"It hurt me too," Angel whispered. "I can't ever lose you. I love you. So very much. I'm sorry we were apart for so long, but I promise I won't let that happen again. _Ever_ again."

 

"I shouldn't have ever left you... even if I disagreed and...and thought we needed to help Darla another way, I shouldn't have done what I did. I'm so sorry... I can't ever make up for betr... betraying you...." Lindsey sobbed the last, beginning to cry hard again.

 

Angel began to press kisses over Lindsey's face, holding his life mate close to him. "I love you so much. And I need you so much, my heart," he whispered. "My life mate. And I was ready to come and get you today. Even if they hadn't brought you home, I wouldn't have let us be separated any longer."

 

"You were?" Lindsey's voice was again pathetic with how hopeful he sounded. He just felt so broken and needy and only Angel could hold him... could put him back together.

 

"I needed you back so much," Angel whispered. "I couldn't exist without you any longer. I couldn't keep the bond closed any longer. I _had_ to have you back."

 

"...You have me back... I'm completely yours... do with me what you will..." Lindsey attempted to sound teasing, but the feelings thrumming through the bond made it clear he was actually serious. He wanted Angel completely in control and to do with him whatever the vampire thought best. He felt so guilty, he didn't think he'd ever feel right.

 

"I'm going to take care of you. I'm going to look after you and love you and _never ever_ let you go," Angel whispered, kissing his life mate's lips with every other word.

 

Lindsey relaxed at the words, eagerly kissing back. Letting out a tiny sigh, he took Angel's hand and carefully moved it so his mate could rub his stomach. It was slightly distended. The bond wanted more. "...Will you fill me up again, Master? Make me so full of you, everyone _can see_ you've claimed and taken me back?" he whispered, almost nervously, afraid he didn't deserve it. He didn't feel like he deserved it.

 

Angel pressed a kiss to his life mate's stomach, rubbing his hand gently over it. "I want exactly that, my heart," he whispered. "I want to fill you up...to mark you with my claim in every way possible. Do you need me to take you over my knee first, though?"

 

Lindsey swallowed at the kiss and the words; and gave thoughtful consideration to his mate's question. And he realized he did. He needed to feel like he'd been punished, at least a little, for how he'd used their bond to trick Angel. Had in effect betrayed the older man. Even if his reasons for doing so were good, in this case, the ends _didn't_ justify the means. "Yessir. I... I need to be punished for what I did. I... I need _you_ to punish me.... I can't ever make up for it and I'll always feel guilty, but maybe if I pay just a little..." He swallowed again, before letting out a tiny, quivering sigh that sounded close to tears again.

 

Angel pressed a loving kiss to his life mate's lips. "I'm going to make sure you keep me inside you while you're over my knee, life mate." He picked up the plug.

 

Lindsey closed his eyes and returned the kiss before letting out a tiny sigh. "How, master?" he asked curiously, trying to imagine Angel spanking him while still buried inside and not quite able to do it; although the thought caused his member to twitch. The bond still being wide open, Angel would be able to see the images as he thought them.

 

"Not quite like that, my heart." Stroking the side of his life mate's face, Angel carefully withdrew from Lindsey, replacing his member with the plug.

 

Lindsey's eyes widened as he felt the plug's insertion. "Oh..." he said, in a whisper that was a slightly higher tone than his usual. "...It... it doesn't hurt..." He blinked uncertainly, then smiled as he could tell it was doing its job. His belly was still puffier than normal; he still had Angel's essence inside of him. "Thank you, sir..." he whispered again, giving Angel a bashful smile.

 

Angel stroked the side of Lindsey's face. "I love you so much," he whispered, pressing a chaste kiss to Lindsey's lips before sitting up and gently guiding Lindsey across his lap.

 

Lindsey returned the kiss, then whimpered. "I love you, Meae. I want to be right with you again... so badly..." he admitted in a broken voice, letting himself be positioned without any fight or argument at all. He _needed_ to be punished and that need was as clear through the bond as his love was.

 

Angel settled his life mate in place, wrapping an arm around Lindsey's waist and gently rubbing his human's bottom before he lifted his hand, bringing it down in a firm smack that he then repeated.

 

It stung but didn't really hurt. Not yet. Lindsey wanted... _needed_... it to hurt. He needed to pay for his betrayal. Needed to feel Angel control him so completely that the vampire could cause pain and Lindsey would have to take it because it was Angel giving it. He didn't say anything, though. He knew Angel could feel everything he was feeling through the bond; he wasn't hiding anything at all and so Angel would know what Lindsey needed. But it would also be Angel's decision. Because even if Lindsey felt he needed it, it was possible Angel wouldn't agree, and in this instance, the final decision was entirely his master's to make.

 

Angel settled into a pattern of slow, steady swats down to Lindsey's thighs before he started over from the top. During the second circuit of swats, he opened the link between them...so Lindsey could feel everything Angel did; and while there was the pain from losing Lindsey for several weeks, there was also an intense love and longing for his life mate.

 

Lindsey really didn't hold out that long before he was crying vocally. He'd already surrendered before Angel even started. He knew what he'd done wrong. He knew _why_ it was wrong. He _wanted_ to be punished. So, there was no reason not to surrender immediately. Even so, it wasn't until he felt Angel's feelings through the bond- felt how much pain he'd caused his mate and felt how much Angel wanted him, _despite_ the pain he'd caused- that he began to sob. The sobs were deep and full of remorse. "I'm sorry, Utselii..." he repeated over and over, lying limp so that he could feel every swat completely. "I'm so sorry... Need you so much... please forgive...." The words weren't really necessary. The guilt and remorse carried through the bond easily, as did his desire for forgiveness. Also carried through the bond was his feeling that he would never be punished enough. The feeling that he wanted and needed his backside to hurt long after Angel was through swatting.

 

Angel leaned over to kiss Lindsey's neck, beginning to swat harder and faster. Through the bond came the image of the first time Angel had taken his human over his knee; when Lindsey's struggles had resulted in him getting a harder, sounder spanking...but it had been enough for Angel to realise how much he wanted the human. _You've been mine long before I brought you home and turned you over my knee the first time,_ whispered through the bond.

 

Somehow, being reminded of the first spanking he'd received, that he'd fought so hard against only for Angel to prove how powerless he was along with how _wrong_ he was, eased some of Lindsey's anxiety. Angel could and _would_ take care of him for however long he needed and however sternly he needed. His guilt would be taken care of. _He_ would be taken care of.

 

Somehow, what he'd done this time seemed worse than what he'd originally done to be put over the vampire's knee. Before, he hadn't a clue who he belonged to, or that he had a choice for a better way. Now? Now he knew unequivocally that he belonged to the vampire and his choice was to come home and let Angel take care of him instead of hiding from him like a little coward... hiding and causing them both immense pain. "I've been yours before I even knew I was yours..." he agreed in a whisper, between his sobbing. " _Please don't let me ever forget again_..." He couldn't bring himself to ask if his spanking now would be as harsh as it had been the first time. He wasn't fighting at all; at the same time, he felt how wrong he'd been, and his guilt was strong. He couldn't help feeling like he deserved harsher.

 

"I won't _ever_ let you go again," Angel promised, continuing to swat; now in random spots all over his life mate's bottom. "When I brought you home that first time, I was driven entirely by instinct. It's not just instinct now. I _need_ you. It was too painful for us to be separated. When you just came home, it felt like something missing had slid back into place. You are so important to me...."

 

"It hurt being away from you..." Lindsey admitted again, knowing he had said so before, but needing Angel to know how badly it had hurt. "...In my bones hurt..." He grunted softly as the swats began to build up, the sting actually beginning to hurt a bit. "Hurt that did...didn't stop till you had me in your arms...under your control...."

 

"I'm not letting you out of my arms or even out of my sight," Angel promised. "Not for a good long while. Maybe not ever." He continued to swat as he sent another mental image of holding onto a leash attached to his life mate's collar.

 

Lindsey shivered at the image. " _Please_?" he found himself squeaking out in a begging tone, then blushed at the fact that he so obviously _wanted_ Angel to follow through on his image. Blushed and began to squirm faintly as his body finally decided, if he wasn't going to choose to try and move out of the line of fire of the now painful swats, it was taking the choice out of his hands.

 

Angel tightened his hold on Lindsey, swatting a fraction harder and faster. "I'm not going to let you out of my sight," he continued. "I'm not going to let go of you. _You're mine_. You're my life mate. My heart."

 

"Yours..." Lindsey repeated, then repeated it again, almost like a mantra. His squirming became more active the longer Angel swatted. By now, the sting had turned into a burning ache and there wasn't one part of his backside that didn't feel the correction. It wasn't close to what he felt like he deserved, but it was beginning to take the edge off his guilt. Tears streamed from his eyes. Every so often, one of the swats would cause the plug to shift, rubbing inside and reminding him that Angel had taken him thoroughly inside and out. " _Yours completely_!" He sobbed softly.

 

It was hard, but Angel forced himself to continue swatting, pulling his life mate tight against his stomach. The bond was wide open between them and he sent his human an image of Lindsey's backside, turning a dark red in colour. _I need you so much. My existence is worth nothing without you,_ he sent.

 

Lindsey relaxed at the image. He knew that Angel would punish him only so long as it didn't harm him; and the color of his backside meant that the spanking would likely be ending soon. He still felt like he hadn't paid nearly enough- and that was clear through the bond- but he felt like he'd paid some and was able to let go because of it. He slumped over Angel's lap and just accepted the punishment, his sobs still quiet but strong. He envisioned his backside being a few shades darker than what Angel had shown him and then imagined the vampire pulling him up to sit on his lap, making certain that every well-spanked inch touched the vampire's thighs so that Lindsey would feel every second while his master held and comforted him. He wasn't able to project words and wasn't in a frame of mind to imagine writing them, so it was the only way he could show Angel how much he wanted and needed to be held and controlled and _loved_.

 

Angel sent images of acceptance and a sense of love and possession through the bond as he began to swat a bit harder and faster, tightening his hold on his life mate. _I love you. You're mine. I won't ever let you go,_ he promised.

 

Soon, Lindsey wasn't even twitching as he hung over Angel's knee, accepting the punishment completely. His sobs were silent now as his shoulders shook slightly from them. He couldn't speak; he could only hope Angel could feel his own love and desire to never leave the vampire's side through the bond.

 

Angel couldn't force himself to continue the spanking when all he wanted was to gather his life mate into his arms and hold Lindsey tightly. He stopped and brought Lindsey into his arms, cuddling him tightly in the same position his life mate had envisioned.

 

Lindsey whimpered softly as his very sore bottom rubbed against his life mates lap, but he didn't squirm or try to get away. Instead, he pressed as closely to Angel as he could get, wrapping his arms around the vampire and holding tightly, letting his head fall against the older man's chest as he attempted to regain control over his crying. It hurt. He wouldn't even try and pretend that it didn't hurt; and it was clear through the bond that his backside was very sore. It was also just as clear that Angel had given him what he'd needed. While there was still guilt weighing him down, the punishment had eased enough of the guilt that Lindsey was able to believe he'd be able to move past what he'd done. "I love you, sir..." he finally whispered once his tears had stopped falling. "Thank you for punishing my badness...."

 

Angel leaned in and gently kissed the lobe of each ear, flicking his tongue over the earrings. "I need you so much. I didn't realise until you weren't in my life," he whispered, his voice tight with emotion.

 

"...Felt like I would die without you. I was fighting myself cuz I felt so guilty, I couldn't imagine you'd want me back. But I felt like I was dying..." Lindsey admitted, in a hoarse voice. He snuggled closer, before slanting his head so Angel could kiss his ears and neck easier.

 

Angel kissed his life mate's neck and ears, nuzzling in close to Lindsey. "I always want you," he whispered. "It hurt so much that I couldn't get out of bed. Couldn't shower. Couldn't do _anything_."

 

"But you didn't come get me..." Lindsey whispered, his voice breaking. "...I thought... I thought you'd come get me if... were you waiting for me to get smart and come back? I was too much of a coward and too bad...." His voice choked on the last words and he sniffled, hiding his face against Angel's shoulder.

 

Angel tightened his embrace and kissed Lindsey's neck. "I wasn't in a great state," he admitted quietly. "I thought I'd scare you...that my feelings were too intense, and I didn't want to hurt you."

 

"I _want_ to be hurt... _deserve_ to be hurt..." Lindsey's voice was full of self-loathing. After saying it, he hid his face against Angel's chest, head under the vampire's chin so that he wouldn't have to look into his mate's eyes and see worry... or, worse, disappointment.

 

"No, my heart," Angel whispered, kissing Lindsey's head. "You don't deserve that. I know violence played a big part in how we interacted before, but I _never_ want to hurt you again."

 

Lindsey swallowed. "...Deserve to be punished, though..." he said quietly, not wanting to argue with Angel, even if he did think he deserved to be hurt. Angel wouldn't argue about him deserving punishment, though. "Was really bad..." he whispered.

 

Angel pressed a kiss to his human's head. "No, my heart," he murmured. "This wasn't an ideal situation, but it hurt more that, I thought I'd lose you. I love you so much. I need you." _I told you before - if my heart could beat, it would beat for you,_ whispered through their link.

 

Lindsey let out a soft sigh and snuggled close. "I guess it's good for me that you are in control and decide what happens..." he admitted. "...If I had to decide, I would be punished more harshly for longer...." Still, some of his need to be punished was easing with Angel's words. Angel was the one he'd hurt. If the vampire didn't want him hurting, then who was Lindsey to argue?

 

"I don't want you punished so harshly," Angel murmured, kissing the side of his human's neck. "I just want to hold onto you and never let you go." He stroked down Lindsey's spine, adding, "But if you still feel you need it, I can put you over my knee for a minor spanking tomorrow. To sting and keep your backside warm."

 

Lindsey snuggled close at Angel's words. "I... I don't know if I'll need it. But I like the idea of feeling the sting and having a warm backside that you caused..." he admitted. "Punishments aren't meant to turn me on, though, so..." He finally looked up, giving Angel a sheepish grin. "Do... do you forgive me?" he finally asked hopefully. If Angel forgave him, maybe the guilt would ease up.

 

"You're my heart," Angel whispered, kissing Lindsey's lips. "I would _always_ forgive you. No matter what. Because I need you and I love you so much."

 

At those words, Lindsey whimpered and eagerly pressed closer to Angel, kissing him back as deeply as he was able. "...Love you... need you... _yours_!" He twisted and shifted until he was straddling Angel's lap, all but rubbing against the vampire wantonly.

 

"I need you so much." Angel slid his hands down over his life mate's hips, squeezing gently. "How does the plug feel, my heart?" he asked.

 

Lindsey blushed. "It feels good. Not as good as when you fill me up, but... I like having it in me. I like it holding what you give me inside, so it can't come out...." He bit his lip and looked down as he admitted, "...Kinda would like you in me again now, though."

 

Angel smiled at that and kissed his life mate, lingeringly and passionately. "Would you like to be face down or face up?"

 

Lindsey blinked at being given the choice, before smiling almost bashfully. "Face down? So..." He swallowed, then sent an image of Angel biting his bottom before removing the plug and thrusting into him with one easy movement. By the time the vampire was done, he hoped that Angel would have bitten every part of him to 'claim' him.

 

Angel smiled and carefully rolled them over, pinning Lindsey face down on the bed and kissing down his life mate's back before he gently bit his human's backside.

 

Lindsey moaned softly, not surprised when he was immediately aroused. He opened his legs wider so Angel could fit between them. "Thank you, Utselii... Wanna be claimed by you all the time..." he admitted.

 

Angel sent a mental image of him and Lindsey laying in bed, with him claiming his life mate all day and night long. _We spent so much time apart,_ he sent to his human.

 

Lindsey shocked himself with the aroused growl he gave at that image. "...I want that, Utselii... want it so much..." he whispered. "When you are finished, my whole body will know who it belongs to. Everyone else will be able to see who I belong to. I love you so much...."

 

Angel sent a wave of love, need and desire through the bond as he slowly pulled his fangs out of his life mate's skin. As he'd seen in the vision, he pulled the plug free and then slid into his human.

 

"Yes..." Lindsey moaned this time, arching his back so that the angle was better for penetration. "...Yours, sir... always...."

 

"Mine," Angel repeated. "My heart. My life mate. You're my _everything_." He began to thrust hard and fast inside his life mate.

 

Between feeling like he'd actually been punished for what he'd done wrong (even if it wasn't nearly as much as he thought he deserved) and the bond making it clear that it would accept nothing less from him than complete surrender to his feelings, Lindsey didn't hold back. He moved to meet Angel thrust for thrust, not happy until the vampire's hips were smacking against his bottom and thighs as they moved together. He clenched around Angel as tightly as he could, groaning at the friction it caused. "Meae, Cor Meum, Amica Mea...."

 

"Mine," Angel whispered, calling Lindsey all the names he could in Gaelic, thrusting into his life mate harder and faster. He reached his hands around to grasp Lindsey's hips, kissing and then biting down his life mate's back.

 

Lindsey whined at feeling the bite on his back. "...More please, master... more..." he found himself begging, as the pleasure from the bite had him close to releasing.

 

Angel continued to bite down his life mate's back, holding his hips tight and possessively. "I love you," he whispered.

 

Feeling Angel's control over him, along with the sharp pain-pleasure of the bites, sent Lindsey over the edge. It didn't take long before he was spilling onto the bed with a hoarse yell, before falling loose. Angel's tight grip on him held his bottom in position so Angel could continue to take him, but it was entirely Angel's strength that kept him in place. Lindsey felt boneless and weak; only able to take what Angel was giving him. The bond _felt happy_ about that, growing stronger with each possessive touch and thrust that Lindsey couldn't do anything but accept.

 

The more control Lindsey ceded to Angel, the stronger the bond felt to Lindsey. It hadn't felt like this before. It had been more equal before, encouraging Lindsey to actively participate, and Lindsey couldn't help but wonder why the difference. Maybe the bond was reacting to his feelings of guilt and wish that Angel would control him enough that he couldn't pull away ever again? Was it sentient enough to react like that? Or was it sentient enough to know Lindsey had been the one to make the first break that had nearly destroyed it and it was trying to ensure the young lawyer could never do so again? Lindsey wondered if Angel felt the difference; felt the bond encouragjng Lindsey to give Angel complete control over his life and let the vampire use him? And if Angel could feel that, did he feel how excited the thought of doing that made Lindsey?

 

Angel tightened his arms around Lindsey's body, kissing his life mate's neck as he slumped down over him. "I've got you, my heart," he whispered, nuzzling his human. "I love you and I won't let you go again. I won't let you leave me."

 

Lindsey let out a slow breath at the words, knowing Angel meant them. He'd never be able to run away or hide ever again. It was a bit scary, knowing Angel was now fully in control... that the vampire was truly Master over him. But it also felt right. And safe. And secure. "I love you, Angel..." he whispered softly.

 

"I love you." Angel kissed the back of his neck and added, "So very much. It's a good job the bond allows you to feel how I do...how much I want and need you. Because I can't find the right words to say."

 

"I normally have no trouble with words. There are... there are no words for _us_ ," Lindsey whispered. He slanted his head, so his neck was more exposed.

 

"You're my heart," Angel whispered, gently nipping at his neck. "You're my whole world. And it's very clear to me that I can't live without you."

 

"I can't live without you either..." Lindsey admitted.

 

Angel nuzzled in close, inhaling his human's scent. _Smell so good,_ whispered down the bond to his life mate.

 

Lindsey huffed in amusement. "Amazing what a bath will do..." he teased gently.

 

"You smelled good even without the bath," Angel said softly, kissing Lindsey's hair. "Immediately calmed and settled me the moment I had hold of you."

 

Lindsey blinked and bit his lip at those words. "If I hadn't felt calmed in the same way, I'd wonder at your sense of smell." He smiled.

 

Angel pressed a kiss to Lindsey's neck, inhaling his human's scent again. "Everything about you calms and settles me," he whispered.

 

Lindsey relaxed, his body sinking further into the mattress as Angel's weight bore down on him. The vampire was still buried deep in him... he clenched slightly and smiled at the feeling of 'full'. He wasn't sure what Angel wanted to do. He had thoughts of the vampire taking him hard and long, over and over again until his belly looked pregnant before plugging him again; but interspersed with those thoughts were ones of Angel just laying on him, refusing to let him move unless Lindsey asked permission with reasons; and then taking care of those needs, making it clear that Lindsey belonged to the vampire in everything, not just sexually.

 

Lindsey wasn’t sure what to think of those thoughts. Was that what the bond was demanding? Was that what Angel wanted? Did Lindsey have some deep-seated need to be treated like a child that he'd not realized yet?

 

And those weren’t the only things he thought of. He thought of Angel doing the first; and then, when Angel needed to feed, him spanking Lindsey's bottom scarlet, leashing him and then leading him to a corner of the kitchen so the vampire could feed while staring at Lindsey's backside. Or making Lindsey bend over the table while he fed, so the vampire could examine and memorize what he owned. Or having Lindsey kneel at his feet like a pet while he ate, every so often feeding Lindsey, by hand, until they were both sated.

 

All his thoughts were random and jumbled and he didn't know if they came from inside him or were Angel's thoughts that he picked up on, or were the bond demanding further surrender from him; all he did know was that he wasn't blocking them, so Angel would clearly see each one. And he knew that the thought of complete surrender and ultimate dependence on his mate didn't upset him like he thought it should. If he spent the rest of his life with Angel making the final decisions on whatever he did? Well, there were worse ways to live.

 

Angel kissed Lindsey's neck as he paid attention to his life mate's thoughts and feelings through the bond. Finally, he asked softly, "What do _you_ want, my heartmate? I know the bond might be triggering certain thoughts and desires, but those are not necessarily what you truly want." He carefully grasped Lindsey's body, moving them without pulling out of his life mate so they could see each other's eyes.

 

Lindsey blinked as he was suddenly facing Angel instead of the bed, Angel still buried deep in him. "How'd you...?" He sounded impressed. Swallowing, he tried to answer Angel's question. "I... don't know. Were _any_ of those ideas from you? Because I can't seem to tell what's me, what's you, or what's the bond...." He couldn't help sounding a bit scared when admitting that. It was one thing to be completely reliant, dependent... obedient to Angel. It was another to completely lose himself to the point he didn't have any thoughts of his own.

 

"I want to take care of you; for you to be completely reliant on me," Angel said honestly, reaching out to stroke his life mate's face. "To dominate you. To make sure you and _everyone else_ know that _you're mine_."

 

"So... my thinking about you taking care of me like I was a child...?" Lindsey looked up into Angel's eyes hesitantly. He'd never considered letting himself become 'helpless' and relying on Angel for everything. But if his mate liked that idea, he couldn't say he disliked it. He would have been reluctant if it was the bond pushing it, but if Angel liked the idea....

 

Angel gently stroked the side of Lindsey's face as he said honestly, "I need and want to take care of you, my heart. Not necessarily like a child, but you being completely reliant on me is something that I like the sound of."

 

"So... like an older child?" Lindsey's tone was slightly teasing. "I... I like that idea too..." he admitted. And he did, to his surprise. He liked the idea of Angel taking care of him and being dependent on his master. Even the idea of being cared for like a child didn't upset him; intrigued him slightly, now that he knew Angel was behind the thought and not the bond.

 

"I've been feeding and bathing you already," Angel said. "Ever since we went to Pylea...it's a more primal part of me that wants to take care of you. That same part that wants to bond you so tight to me, nothing can separate us."

 

"That's true..." Lindsey admitted. "What went through my head was a bit beyond that... is... is that what you'd like?"

 

"I want _you_ ," Angel whispered. "No matter what form that takes."

 

Lindsey nodded. "You have me, Meae... I'm just trying to determine what's my wants, what are yours and which ones belong to the bond. And when we know the answer to that... which wants we should indulge...." He bit his lip. "And... I think you should make the final decision. Because I belong to you. And I make really bad decisions when I'm scared."

 

"You don't need to be scared, my heart," Angel murmured. "I've got you. I won't ever let you go. And we'll figure everything out together. We don't have to rush. Now that I have you back...now that you're home...we have time."

 

"Yessir..." Lindsey smiled crookedly, obviously relaxing further at the words. "I'll try not to be scared. Just feel so out of control. If you didn't have control...."

 

"I do. I have control and I'm in control," Angel said gently. "I've got you. I love you. I won't ever let you go."

 

Lindsey sighed softly. "That makes me feel safe. Better. I'm glad you're in control of me..." he admitted.

 

"I'm not going to let you go again, my heart," Angel promised. "I'm glad you're back home with me." He kissed Lindsey's head.

 

Lindsey sniffled at the kiss, giving Angel a very sorry look. "I'm sorry I was bad and left you. I... I know you forgave me, but I can’t stop thinking about what I should have done instead..." he said.

 

Angel kissed Lindsey gently. "I know you understand, my heartmate," he said gently. "And if you need me to turn you over my knee again, I will. But I love you. All I wanted...all I needed...was to have you back."

 

"That's what I needed most too. Nothing was right till I came home..." Lindsey said.

 

"Nothing was right without you," Angel said honestly. "I love you so much. I was driving everyone away because I missed you so much."

 

Lindsey swallowed at that. "Show me who I belong to, master... make it so I never forget?" he found himself begging.

 

"Like this?" Angel pictured the image his life mate had shown him, of spanking his human's bottom red and then taking Lindsey through to the kitchen, so Angel could touch and explore while he fed.

 

"Yessir... Like that..." Lindsey whispered, with a blush.

 

Angel kissed his life mate, long and lingeringly, and then gently turned Lindsey over his lap.

 

Lindsey shivered, but managed to stay where he was positioned. He put his hands behind his back, so his lover could restrain him.

 

Angel gently grasped Lindsey's hands and leaned over to press a kiss to each of his life mate's buttocks before he began a firm patting.

 

Lindsey sighed at the kisses, then let himself go limp so he could feel the pats most effectively. "...Love you, Meae. Belong to you...."

 

"I love you too. So very much." Angel gently squeezed each buttock before he began to pat a bit more firmly.

 

It didn't take long for the pats to begin to sting. Lindsey didn’t squirm at all, though he did begin to whimper softly. He found he needed his master's control too much; the inclination to get away from it just wasn't there. In fact, he was fighting his inclination to shift and move into positions where Angel could reach and control even more of him.

 

Angel paused to begin rubbing and gently squeezing Lindsey's backside, leaning over to kiss his life mate's back before he resumed patting again; a bit harder this time.

 

Lindsey swallowed hard. "You'll never let me run again?" he asked, needing the reassurance that he wouldn't be able to ruin what he and Angel had because of fear.

 

"Never _ever_ ," Angel replied. "I will _never_ let you run again."

 

"If I ever run again... it'll be because I'm stupid scared and not thinking at all..." Lindsey muttered. "I'm sorry I ran this time. I know I keep saying so, but I just... I don't know what else to say..." He swallowed hard.

 

"You don't have to say anything, my heart," Angel said gently. "It's enough that I have you back. I feel so much better and settled."

 

"I... I feel better and safer... can't settle, though. Feel too guilty..." Lindsey admitted reluctantly, although he was fairly certain his master knew already.

 

"You don't need to feel guilty, life mate," Angel said quietly. "I've forgiven you. And I have you back. That's all I wanted."

 

"Can't help it, Utselii... only reason I'm even able to..." He swallowed and closed his eyes. "...Is because you've got hold of me again and are taking care of me...." He left unsaid that he'd be punishing himself a lot more harshly than Angel had punished him if Angel hadn't forgiven him and taken him back. The shape he was in prior to Wes and Cordy dragging him to Angel only hinted at what he'd been doing to himself; not eating, not bathing, not sleeping. He'd been taking chances with his life that had resulted in him being injured and while Wes and Cordy just thought he was being reckless because he missed Angel so badly, that was only part of it. The rest of the reason he was being reckless was an attempt to be punished; to be hurt so that he could ease some of the hurt his guilt was causing. He didn't know if the bond was telling Angel the truth that he couldn't say. He didn't know how to tell the vampire with words, any more than he didn't know how else to say he was sorry.

 

"I have got you, my heart," Angel said. "And I'm not going to let you go." He kissed the back of Lindsey's neck. "It's not your place to punish yourself, my life mate. I'm the one in control of you. I'm the one who decides what you deserve...what you need...what to do with you and _to_ you."

 

Lindsey blinked at that. "...I... I didn't think of it like that..." he whispered, a wave of embarrassed guilt coursing through him. "...I keep messing up, Meae!" he blurted, beginning to cry softly. "...Didn' mean to do what only you're 'llowed...."

 

Angel nuzzled in close to Lindsey. "You don't mess up, my heart," he murmured. "You were confused and hurting. We _both_ were."

 

"...I'm still doing it, though. I want to give you complete control and not... not try and take it back. It's not my place to try and control. I want to give up to you completely and I'm trying, but I can't seem to stop..." Lindsey's voice was tiny, ashamed... lost. "...If you didn't have me now, right this second... I'd be doing something I know you wouldn't like. I don't want to be bad, Utselii. Wanna be good for you. Why can't I just let go?"

 

"Because we've been separated for so long." Angel rubbed his hand gently over Lindsey's backside. "You don't need to blame yourself, my heart. Whatever happens, I've got you now. I'm not going to let you go."

 

"You aren't upset? That I keep trying to... trying to push things and take over when it's you that decides? I don't mean to be bad, Meae..." Lindsey choked out.

 

"You aren't bad." Angel gently bit Lindsey's neck, opening himself up to the bond...reminding Lindsey of what their relationship had initially been like; that compared to what it had been like then, just having his life mate in his arms and no longer being enemies was more than enough for Angel. _You're not my slave, my heart,_ he sent through the bond.

 

Lindsey felt himself immediately relaxing, his anxiety decreasing with the bite. "Not your slave... still meant to obey you, though. You're in charge," he whispered. "Wanna be good for you... obedient... can't stop thinking ‘bout how wrong I was...."

 

 _Do you remember what you asked me to do if we were ever on opposite sides again?_ Angel continued speaking through the bond. _I can take you over my knee every day for the next week...make it hard for you to sit down without feeling where I've left my mark._ He gave Lindsey's backside a gentle swat for emphasis.

 

Lindsey sniffled and let out a tiny yip at the swat. "Yes, Utselii..." he breathed out, his tone relieved that Angel had remembered and brought it up. "...I need that," he admitted quietly.

 

"Then that's what I'll do," Angel promised. "Take you over my knee every day for the next week, so you don't _ever_ forget who your Utselii...who your _master_...is."

 

"Thank you, sir..." Lindsey whispered, the relief in his voice palpable. Somehow, knowing that Angel would remind him every day who he belonged to allowed him to relax and let go of his need to punish himself; at least for the moment.

 

Angel gently bit Lindsey's neck again, drinking a small amount of blood before he began to gently swat his life mate's bottom again.

 

Feeling Angel's teeth in his neck, capable of killing if the vampire wanted, allowed Lindsey to let go the rest of the way. He had no doubts he'd be struggling with guilt again in the future, but at that moment, he was able to accept that Angel was taking care of him and would do whatever Lindsey deserved. There was no need to push for more; or to let himself wallow in the guilt. "...Can you make it burn, Utselii?" he asked in a whisper. Of course, he knew Angel could make it burn. The question should have actually been ' _will_ you make it burn?', because Angel didn't mind giving Lindsey what he asked for or needed; as long as it wasn't harmful. He wasn't sure if Angel would consider it harmful. But he could imagine Angel turning his bottom a hot scarlet color and he hoped that the vampire would allow it.

 

Angel kissed his life mate's neck as he kept his fangs in place, keeping a careful control over his strength so Lindsey was in no danger. He began to swat a bit harder and a fraction faster, pausing every so often to rub and soothe the heated skin.

 

Lindsey whimpered, but did his best to stay still. Even though his mate was holding him tightly enough that he wouldn't be able to jerk or move in such a way that he could rip his throat, he didn't want to fight his lover. His backside was beginning to sting, even after Angel rubbed the punished area. "Yours, Meae...."

 

 _Mine._ Always _,_ came through the bond. Along with the possessive words came a mental image of Lindsey in the collar; the leash held tight by the vampire. A wistful thought came through the bond. _We haven't been to the beach at midnight yet._

 

Lindsey didn't know why that stray thought hit him the way it did, but his breath caught and then he slumped, crying hard. They hadn't done a lot of things they'd planned yet. And if Cordy and Wes hadn't taken the choice out of his hands, they might never have been able to do them. He'd wasted so much time and for what? He'd been afraid to face Angel and have the vampire tell him to get lost; but he'd ended up without his mate anyway, so he hadn't gained anything by listening to his fear. He was inordinately grateful that the ex-watcher and ex-cheerleader had brought him home. He was inordinately grateful that his mate had forgiven him and taken him back. He was crying too hard to talk, so he sent mental pictures to Angel, hoping that it would make sense to the vampire. Images of Angel spanking Lindsey scarlet like had been thought and spoken of before. Images of Angel leading him to the kitchen, so the vampire could feed while Lindsey stood there for Angel to examine and touch as he might want; images of the vampire taking him, spanking him again, feeding; repeating throughout the day until night fell- and then Angel leashing him, putting him naked in the car and taking him to the private beach where they could connect the way they'd spoken of before Lindsey had been a fool and left. He wanted, _needed_ to feel his mate's control over every part of him. He wanted, _needed_ to feel that they were connected again. "...Love you, Meae..." he finally choked out in a sob, lying limp and accepting over Angel's knee; hoping that Angel didn't stop what he was doing. As much as he needed to be held by the vampire... he needed to be held accountable more. At least for right this moment.

 

Angel gently kissed and nuzzled into Lindsey's neck, swatting his lover's backside; not anything like as hard as punishment swats, but harder than the pats he'd started out with. While he did so, the image of sitting at the private beach with Lindsey on his lap came through the bond; his life mate with his guitar, so Angel would finally get to listen to his human sing just for his ears.

 

Lindsey closed his eyes tight, still crying but a sense of _peace_ settling in his chest. He thought of the same image; his way of telling his mate that he wanted that too. He wanted to be held on his lover's lap and sing just for him.

 

Angel slowly and gently withdrew from his human's neck, licking the wound closed. Kissing his way down Lindsey's back, Angel pressed a kiss to each of Lindsey's hot, red buttocks before sending his life mate an image of his bottom; the shade and the heat.

 

Lindsey was still crying, though it had calmed enough that he could at least breathe. At the image Angel sent him, he shivered, a tiny little whimper escaping. Sniffling back more tears, he asked, in a trembling voice, "...Is it red enough, Meae? It needs to be red and hot the way _you_ want..." he finished weakly. He knew it couldn't be the way _he_ wanted because the way he wanted would leave him unable to walk and Angel would _never_ want to do that and would most likely be upset to hear him ask for it if he admitted to wanting that. Still, he couldn't hide from his master anymore, so he sent a quick image of what he'd ask for if Angel would give it to him; even if it upset his mate, he needed to be honest with Angel. Maybe one day, his guilt would have been answered enough that he wouldn't feel like he deserved to be destroyed in order to pay for his mistakes.

 

"I love you so much," Angel whispered, letting his hands rest gently on his human's bottom and rubbing them gently. "You are _my whole world_. You're my heart. I can't imagine being without you. Even back when I brought you home the first time...even _before_ that, when we were always fighting. I felt drawn to you. You don't deserve to be damaged in that way, my heartmate. You made a mistake; so, did I. I was too much of a coward to come after you and bring you home. Can you forgive me for that?" he murmured.

 

"...Yes... _always_. I _love_ you, Angel!" Lindsey blurted through his tears, quivering slightly, but relaxing at the feel of his mate's hands rubbing his very sore bottom.

 

"I love you, Lindsey." Angel's hands continued to gently stroke over his life mate's bottom, gently squeezing the warmed skin. "Is it so difficult to believe I can forgive you when you can forgive me for my mistakes?"

 

Lindsey quivered at the gentle affection and the words as he thought about his mate's question. "...A little..." he admitted reluctantly. "...It's easy to forgive you. You're good. You're worth forgiving..." he whispered, leaving unspoken his belief that he _wasn't_ either of those things.

 

"So are you." Angel whispered the words in Lindsey's ear. "You are worth _everything_ to me. You're worth forgiving. You're a good person. Even before I brought you home. You made mistakes, but you were still doing the right thing when you could."

 

"I'm sorry..." Lindsey whimpered. "...I want to believe you. I trust you for everything and I want to believe you're right. It's hard, though. I don't feel like I'm good. Don't feel like I'm... like I'm worth anything. Even though you've proven that I mean so much to you... I have a hard time seeing what you see in me..." He sniffled.

 

Angel leaned over and wrapped his arms tightly around his life mate's body, kissing his neck. As he did so, he opened his memory to Lindsey; showing his human the memory of their first meeting; how drawn Angel had been to the lawyer working for Wolfram and Hart, enough to start trying to find out everything he could about Lindsey. _I didn't tell them I was seeking out information because I felt drawn to you,_ he admitted through the bond.

 

Lindsey's crying slowly calmed as Angel communicated. He couldn't help a tiny huff as he whispered hoarsely, " It's good you didn't tell them that. They'd a used it against you...."

 

"Maybe tried to manipulate us both...and then you might never have been free of them." Angel kissed his hair. "When you made it clear you wanted to bond to me too...that you realised we'd been building to that point...I don't think I can fully explain how happy that made me."

 

"I may do a lot of things that are stupid, but I'm not really that dumb to turn down something that I could feel was the best thing that could or would ever happen to me..." Lindsey's smile carried in his tone. "I knew I was yours the moment you decided to stop letting me get away with defying you. The moment you put me over your knee instead of killing me, I knew I was being given a second chance and I couldn't blow it this time.... and I needed you so badly. It was easy to give in and be truthful about what I wanted and needed." He shifted slightly, a tiny hiss escaping as his bottom _burned_... exactly the way he'd wanted it to.

 

Angel nuzzled in close, his hands still continuing to gently rub and stroke over Lindsey's backside. "I needed you too," he whispered. "I knew from the moment I put you over my knee. Became even more certain the moment you called me Utselii...master...."

 

"I love you so much... and I _know_ you love me. I trust you with everything I am. I'm sorry I'm being difficult... having such a hard time seeing myself the way you see me. I don't mean to be difficult..." Lindsey said, in a small voice.

 

"You aren't difficult, my heart," Angel said gently. "Far from it. And I'll never get tired of reassuring you of how much you mean to me...how much I need you and can't exist without you."

 

"Never is a long time, Utselii... and I've been known to take a very long time figuring out things I should figure out quickly..." he said, with a bit of self-mockery.

 

"Like you said to me. You can be a bit slow to figure out when someone loves you." Angel kissed his head. "I love you. I'll never stop telling or showing you that."

 

Lindsey sighed happily. "I love you too... and I'll never get tired of you telling me...."

 

Angel carefully turned Lindsey over, so he could press a tender, sweet kiss to his life mate's lips. As he did so, he opened up a memory again; the first time he'd known there was more to Lindsey than being a lawyer for Wolfram and Hart. When Lindsey had worked with them to save the children. Accompanied by that was the sense of regret that Angel hadn't brought his human home then.

 

Lindsey let out a tiny hiss into Angel's mouth as his bottom made contact with the vampire's thighs, but he eagerly returned the kiss. He let his kiss become deeper and more urgent as he felt Angel's regret; trying to dispel the vampire's negative emotions by giving all of himself to him.

 

Angel wrapped his arms tightly around Lindsey, deepening the kiss and slipping his tongue inside his life mate's mouth. "I need you so much," he whispered against his human's lips.

 

Lindsey's hum of belief and acceptance as he opened and surrendered to Angel's tongue was the only answer he could give.

 

Angel pulled Lindsey tighter to him, deepening the kiss, going hard and passionately. He slid his hands over his life mate's body, gently running his nails over Lindsey's skin.

 

Lindsey held onto Angel tightly, his breathing becoming more ragged as he caught breaths in between kissing his mate. He opened himself fully, giving Angel, whatever he asked. He whimpered again at feeling Angel's nails, feeling the possessiveness in the action.

 

Angel kissed Lindsey more deeply and passionately and then carefully pulled back, enough so he could kiss and bite down his life mate’s body, holding Lindsey close and tight against him.

 

Lindsey let out a tiny hiss at the first bite, but then he surrendered to them, tiny needy whimpers accompanying each one. "...Feels so good..." he murmured. "...Belonging to you...."

 

" _You_ feel good," Angel whispered against Lindsey's skin. "You taste so good...you smell so good."

 

Lindsey groaned at the words. Between the bites and Angel's voice, it wasn't long before he was fully aroused.

 

Angel dipped his head lower and took Lindsey into his mouth, beginning to work on his life mate’s erection.

 

Lindsey's groans turned into soft moaning as his member twitched in Angel's mouth and he couldn't stop himself from thrusting shallowly up toward the vampire's face. He couldn't hold still and had to rely on Angel to hold him in place.

 

Angel held Lindsey tight and secure as he continued to work on his human's member.

 

"Meae..." Lindsey's voice came out in a whiny, begging sob that he might have been embarrassed about if he wasn't feeling so needy. "...Yours, Meae..." He felt heat pooling in his belly and he felt a tightening indicating that he was close to release.

 

The sense of possessiveness came through the bond to Lindsey as Angel gently squeezed his life mate’s hips, fingers ghosting intimately over his human's intimate places.

 

Lindsey was incoherent with need by this point, the noises coming from his throat telling Angel more than words how much he needed to belong to him. He'd opened his legs as wide as he was able, still trying to push up into the vampire's mouth, even as he begged for Angel to possess every part of him.

 

 _You can let go, my heart,_ Angel sent through the bond. _I'll catch you. I will_ always _catch you._

 

Immediately after receiving his mate's permission, Lindsey fell over the edge, shuddering uncontrollably as he gave his master everything he had.

 

Angel took in everything, keeping his grip on his life mate firm and secure. Through the bond echoed love, want, desire, need and longing.

 

Once spent, Lindsey lay weakly over Angel's lap, attempting to catch his breath. It wasn't easy between crying and the intense orgasm, so he lay gasping, a sense of profound love, dependence and satisfaction carrying through the bond.

 

Angel slowly released Lindsey's member and gently stroked the side of his life mate’s face. "I've got you," he whispered.

 

"I... I know you do..." Lindsey breathed out in a destroyed voice. "...If you didn't, I'd be dead." The conviction in his voice was absolute.

 

Angel kissed his lover, gently and lingeringly. "I'd never let that happen," he whispered. "You mean _everything_ to me. I can't ever lose you."

 

Lindsey returned the kiss, a small smile on his face. "I know. I can't exist without you... I... I know I overthink things. Worry too much. I'm trying to do better..." he said, by way of apology for letting his guilt continue to pull him down and interfere with his complete submission to the vampire.

 

"It's all right." Angel gently nipped at his life mate’s lips. "I'm here to hold you up. For you to lean on. For _always_."

 

"To help me learn...?" Lindsey was still smiling, though the question was hesitant. He knew the vampire could teach him a lot about how to deal with life in a way that wasn't self-destructive; the opposite of how he'd dealt with things in his past (which led to his joining W&H among other mistakes.)

 

"To help you stop hurting because of past mistakes. Ones that you've been forgiven for." Angel brushed his thumb over his human's lips.

 

Lindsey nodded, kissing Angel's thumb before opening his mouth for his mate. He knew that was something he needed a lot of help with.

 

Angel slipped his thumb into Lindsey's mouth, murmuring soft, loving words in Gaelic.

 

Lindsey sucked on the digit gently, letting his tongue swirl around it. He kept his eyes on his mate the entire time, his desire and need clear on his face.

 

Angel's other hand began to stroke and explore the rest of his life mate’s body; as if he was trying to memorize everything about his life mate once more.

 

Lindsey whimpered softly at the exploration, opening himself up further to the vampire. _Yours_... he thought, with such intense emotion, he couldn't imagine that it wasn't on his face what he was thinking.

 

" _Mine_ ," Angel whispered, just as if he could hear the word his human thought. He stroked and caressed all over Lindsey's body, then dipped his head to follow the same path with his lips.

 

Lindsey finally released his mate's thumb to whine softly. "Angel..." His breath caught in his throat as the vampire kissed him. He began kissing Angel wherever he could reach, whining more deeply when he found it difficult due to the way he was situated. He sent an image to Angel, hoping that the vampire would allow it; it would let him give his mate pleasure, he thought.

 

Angel's smile was gentle as he whispered against Lindsey's skin, "You have permission, my heart."

 

Lindsey shifted off Angel's lap but didn't move far away from him. Instead, he lay beside the vampire, curling in such a way that he could nuzzle against his mate's groin. Breathing in Angel's scent deeply, he began to lick and kiss the vampire's member.

 

It didn't take much attention from his life mate for Angel's member to respond and take an interest. Angel gently ran his hands down Lindsey's shoulders and back, opening himself up through the bond so that his life mate could feel Angel's own pleasure.

 

Feeling his lover respond, both physically and through the bond, emboldened Lindsey. His own happiness spread through the bond to Angel as he took his mate into his mouth and began to suck, sliding his mouth down until Angel was completely sheathed inside him.

 

Angel gently ran his fingers through Lindsey's hair. _I like your hair longer like this,_ he sent through the bond, even as he continued to respond to his life mate.

 

 _I will keep it longer for you, my love..._ Lindsey thought in response, not expecting Angel to hear; but he wasn't willing to stop what he was doing to answer verbally or divert his attention enough to think of 'writing' the words. He let his tongue run up and down the underside of Angel's member before sucking him in hard and deep, feeling the press at the back of his throat.

 

Angel groaned, his fingers tightening their grip on his life mate’s hair, though not tight enough to prevent Lindsey from moving away as he warned, _I'm about to...._

 

Rather than moving away, Angel's warning encouraged Lindsey to increase his attention, his tongue laving Angel as if he couldn't get enough of his mate's flavor, sucking as if he was trying to draw out a much-needed drink.

 

Angel gasped out his life mate’s name as his release came over him, the force of his orgasm causing him to shudder as a wealth of love and need flowed through the bond from him to his life mate.

 

Lindsey quivered as he was given his treat for pleasing his mate so well, eagerly swallowing everything Angel gave. The bond was happy as well, the tattoos heating until it felt like he'd been sunburned and glowing so that they couldn't be ignored. Warmth pooled in his belly as Angel 'fed' him his essence, binding them that much more tightly together.

 

Angel held tightly onto his life mate, leaning over to press kisses to Lindsey's head, neck and ears. He sucked each pierced lobe into his mouth, tongue swirling over each earring in turn.

 

Lindsey whimpered as Angel paid attention to his ears, but he didn't let go of the vampire's member, continuing to suck and swallow for as long as his mate gave him something to ingest. Eventually, though, he could tell Angel had given all he could, and he gently licked the vampire clean before releasing him with a soft 'pop' and then a kiss. "...Thank you, Utselii..." he found himself whispering with a rough voice, unable to think of any words that would convey his feelings correctly. The feelings of love, gratitude, devotion and abject need carried easily through the bond.

 

Angel nuzzled in close to Lindsey, kissing his ears and either side of his neck. "I won't let you go," he whispered, the words an intense promise.

 

"I'm glad of that..." Lindsey whispered, closing his eyes at the gentle affection, letting his hands rest on Angel's shoulders. The tattoos were still hot and glowing, and he could feel them intensely. "I... I think the bond likes me feeding from you..." he said, with a hint of a smile in his voice.

 

"I like it too." Angel kissed Lindsey's neck, letting his lips move over his life mate’s pulse point.

 

"I liked it a lot..." Lindsey admitted, with a blush. "...Felt good doing that for you." He slanted his head, so his pulse point was more open and vulnerable.

 

Angel gently flicked his tongue over Lindsey's pulse point, following that by gently grazing the skin with his teeth.

 

Lindsey shivered and let out a tiny moan, holding still in case the vampire decided to bite. "...Love you, Meae..." he whispered, through barely moving lips.

 

"I love you." Angel bit, gently, remembering the first time he had...when he'd followed his instincts with the human, he'd brought home.

 

Lindsey felt himself relax at the bite, letting his body rest in Angel's grip, his trust in the vampire complete.

 

Angel kissed and nuzzled Lindsey's neck as he drank a small amount; careful not to take too much. _You taste so good,_ filtered through the bond.

 

"Mm... can't imagine I taste as good as you do..." Lindsey murmured, his voice slightly dazed. Between feeding from his vampire, the bond thrumming like it continued to do and now the pleasure of his mate feeding off him, Lindsey was finding it hard to focus on anything but Angel; even talking was difficult. Moving would be impossible. Luckily, breathing was an automatic action, or he'd probably forget to breathe.

 

 _You taste so good and_ feel _so good._ Angel tightened his hold on his human.

 

"Like when you hold me tight and can't get free..." Lindsey mumbled, still feeling off kilter. "Never want free...."

 

"Good, because I'm not going to let you go," Angel murmured, pulling his fangs free and whispering the words into his life mate’s neck.

 

Lindsey gave Angel a relaxed, almost loopy grin. "Still want to be filled with you to the point I'm swollen..." he admitted, then blinked. "I feel drunk... bond must be having fun with me..." He giggled. It was closer to the truth that he was very happy and had low blood sugar.

 

Angel gently kissed his neck and then swept his life mate up into his arms, carrying Lindsey to the kitchen so he could prepare some food.

 

Lindsey threw his arms around his mate's shoulders and laughed happily. 'I could walk, Meae! Even though I do like being carried...."

 

"I _like_ carrying you. Taking care of you." Angel kept his life mate close, even as he began to prepare food.

 

Lindsey settled close enough that Angel could touch him, without him being in the way, and watched his mate with a goofy grin on his face. He had felt guilt. He probably would again. But at this moment, the bond felt stronger than it ever had, and Lindsey was too happy and in love with his mate to let it weigh him down. He began to send Angel images of all the ways he wanted Angel to claim him, teasing the vampire through the bond. Many of them were absurd and impossible, as he was trying to get Angel to laugh, but some were very possible; those had a hint of a question, as if he was asking the vampire if he would do them.

 

The only thing the images all had in common was they required Lindsey's full submission and obedience and Angel's full dominance and leadership. Lindsey might be feeling very good now, but he couldn't forget how he'd almost broken their connection because he'd decided to run instead of trusting his mate loved him and would forgive... and Angel had almost let him because he didn't come after him. It scared the young lawyer how close they had come to losing everything and he needed to physically feel Angel had control of him again as often as possible. He probably would for the rest of his life, if the bond had anything to do with it.

 

Throughout preparing the food for his life mate, Angel kept stealing kisses, responding to the images with positive emotions and laughing outright at some of the more absurd images. He touched and stroked Lindsey along with the kisses, just needing to touch and assure himself that he still had his human.

 

When it looked as if Angel was almost through preparing Lindsey's meal, the younger man went to the fridge and pulled out several bags of the blood Doyle and Fred had left for the vampire, finding a large mug to pour it into. "Would you like your meal chilled or warm, Meae?" he asked Angel deferentially.

 

Angel smiled warmly at his life mate. "Warm would be good, my heart," he answered.

 

Lindsey smiled brightly and quickly moved to warm the mug up for his lover. After heating it in the microwave for a minute, he pulled it out and carefully touched the top of the liquid to make sure it was warm enough but not too hot. Deciding it was a good temperature, he almost stuck his finger into his mouth before remembering what was in the mug and pausing, a funny look on his face. "Um... it's ready..." He gave Angel a sheepish look as he carefully put the mug on the table, holding his finger out (not wanting to wipe it on himself) and looked for a napkin or a paper-towel. Drinking his mate's blood was one thing but putting the blood of something else inside his mouth when he wasn't sure what type of blood it was, was entirely different.

 

Angel stepped towards his life mate and gently took Lindsey's hand, drawing his life mate’s finger into his mouth and sucking the blood off, licking his human's finger.

 

Lindsey's breath caught in his throat and he blushed before giving Angel a love besotted smile. He waited for Angel to direct him where to sit, content to stand if it was in his mate's presence.

 

Angel wrapped an arm around Lindsey's waist and gently drew his life mate down onto his lap as he sat, picking up food and beginning to feed his human, while interspersing that with drinking his blood.

 

Lindsey ate obediently, relaxing against his mate. "I'm gonna get so used to sitting on your lap to eat, I'm not gonna be able to eat without sitting on your lap..." he teased lightly during a moment when Angel was drinking.

 

Angel kissed the side of his neck. "I'm more than happy for you to always sit on my lap to eat, my heart."

 

"Makes me feel... small. Protected. Part of me thinks I shouldn't like it so much, but I do...." Lindsey sighed and opened his mouth for another bite of food.

 

Angel fed his life mate, nuzzling the side of Lindsey's neck. "I'll always take care of you and protect you. I don't want to do anything else," he admitted quietly.

 

"I've always tried to be independent and not need anyone to protect me... but..." Lindsey swallowed hard and looked down, flushing slightly. "...I think I need you to. Take care of and protect me. I know some of it is the bond, but a lot of it is... I just... I dunno. It just feels right, you doing that. Even if it makes me feel really young and pathetically helpless. I need you to..." He bit his lip and looked up. "You don't mind? Really?" he asked, worried that maybe he was being _too_ helpless and dependent on the vampire, being more like a child than he should.

 

"I don't mind _at all_." Angel kissed his lips. "I need to take care of you. I need to protect you and take care of you. I love you. _So much_."

 

Lindsey returned the kiss, almost chastely, considering his state of undress and the fact that the bond had him in a state of constant arousal. "You don't think I'm being too childish?" he asked, in a tiny voice.

 

"Not in the least," Angel replied reassuringly, kissing his life mate’s neck again.

 

Lindsey relaxed at Angel's reassurance. "...That's good, then..." he said quietly, before slanting his head so his neck was more exposed.

 

Continuing to feed his life mate, Angel kissed Lindsey's neck, over his pulse point, and then his ears, gently nipping the pierced lobes.

 

Lindsey whimpered softly at the nips, but continued to eat, knowing that as much as he wanted to lay down and offer himself to the vampire again, he'd be able to do that later and he really needed some nourishment first.

 

Angel didn't push for anymore, perfectly content to feed Lindsey while stealing kisses from his life mate.

 

Lindsey ate everything he was fed, but by the time his plate was clean, he was squirming with need. He didn't know if the bond would ever settle; they'd stretched it so far when he'd run and blocked his mate from him. He hoped it settled soon. As much as he loved Angel taking him every chance possible, controlling him completely, there was more to their relationship than sex and he wanted to do other things with his mate. Now, though, the bond was too greedy and wanting the physical connection.

 

Once they'd both finished, Angel carefully turned Lindsey round to straddle him and bent his head to gently lick and then suck on one of his life mate’s nipples, drawing it into his mouth and swirling his tongue around it.

 

Lindsey moaned softly, arching and leaning back so his chest was easily accessible, his hands gripping onto Angel's shoulders tightly. "Meae... love you so much..." he whispered.

 

 _I love you,_ carried through the bond. _And I have you._ Angel sucked and licked Lindsey's nipple until it was red and swollen and then started to pay the same attention to the opposite nipple.

 

Lindsey sighed softly, a tiny whine escaping. He was already fully aroused and now with his nipples being swollen and slightly sore, it was all he could do not to begin grinding his hips against his mate. "...Love you too, Meae..." he managed to return, his voice breathy.

 

Angel let his fingers move down to Lindsey's member, beginning to gently stroke and caress it while he carried on licking and sucking on Lindsey's nipples.

 

Lindsey blushed scarlet when he suddenly lost control and released for his mate. He hadn't expected it to occur, let alone that quickly. "...I..." He swallowed, giving Angel an abashed look.

 

Angel stroked the side of his face. "It's not a problem, my heart," he whispered.

 

"I'm finding it hard not to immediately react whenever you touch me..." Lindsey admitted. "Zero to a hundred in less than a second..." He laughed faintly. He turned his face to kiss Angel's palm. "Now... I think I was envisioning a few things earlier today that you seemed very interested and on board with..." He grinned mischievously before leering at his mate. Carefully standing, he turned and leaned over the table; not quite bent, but close. If Angel was still interested in what he was offering, the vampire would hold him down the rest of the way.

 

Angel stood as well, wrapping his arms around Lindsey's waist and kissing his life mate’s shoulder. He gently buried his fangs into his human's shoulder, pressing down against Lindsey's body.

 

Lindsey shivered, relaxing as Angel's weight covered him. The feeling of satisfaction that he was going to be marked and claimed thoroughly was clear in the bond.

 

Angel gently bit his way down Lindsey's back, reaching out for the lube and using it liberally before he carefully pushed his way into his human.

 

Lindsey groaned softly and shifted so he was completely open to his lover. He wanted this. He wanted it bad.

 

****

 

Much later, after the sun went down, Angel had driven Lindsey to the beach. Lindsey had arranged for his truck to be fitted with special glass that would protect Angel from sunlight. He'd also had a special cab made and put on the back. Angel and he would be able to crawl up into the cab to sleep and when the sun came up, they could watch it from the safety of inside the truck. That was for later, though. Currently, they were sat next to each other on the sand.

 

Lindsey shifted slightly, the plug Angel had slid into him rubbing pleasantly. He glanced down at his swollen belly and grinned. The vampire had taken him numerous times before bundling him into the truck, plugging Lindsey each time so his essence would stay inside the mortal. The young lawyer now felt so full, it was uncomfortable to walk. Not that Angel had allowed him to walk, the vampire carrying him everywhere.

 

When Angel wasn't filling him, the older man had been marking him and showing him in no uncertain terms who was in charge. Lindsey's body was mapped with love bites and hickeys. His bottom and thighs were scarlet, highly sensitive and still warm to touch. The younger man was finding it difficult not to squirm. He sighed softly, leaning toward Angel and began to gently strum his guitar.

 

Angel gently drew Lindsey into his arms, on his lap, settling his life mate in place so he could touch and caress his life mate while making sure he didn't get in the way of Lindsey playing the guitar. He let his fingers run through Lindsey's hair.

 

Lindsey whimpered softly as he was lifted and moved, his bottom needing to readjust to the pressure points shifting on his well-punished skin. But then he was sighing happily, pressing his head into Angel's hand before continuing to strum his guitar. He then began to sing to his mate, the words of a love song clearly carried in the night.

 

Angel kept one hand gently stroking and caressing over Lindsey's body as his other hand gently fingered the leash he held in his other hand. A feeling of contentedness and love carried clearly through the bond; happiness that he was sitting here with Lindsey, listening to his life mate sing.

 

Lindsey turned enough to smile at his mate, his own feeling of contentment and belonging carrying through the bond. The collar he wore and the leash his master held only emphasizing the belonging.

 

Angel pressed a gentle kiss to Lindsey's face and continued to kiss over his life mate’s face, though he was careful not to disrupt his life mate’s singing.

 

Lindsey sang several songs for his mate, encouraged by the gentle affection. As he sang, he realized: the bond wasn't pulling or pushing any longer. It was a still, thrumming presence in the back of his mind and it wasn't trying to encourage anything. "It settled..." he said, with surprised wonderment after he finished the latest song.

 

He looked down at himself. He was wearing comfortable jeans and a hooded sweatshirt that belonged to Angel because Angel had dressed him and they both felt comforted by Lindsey smelling like the older man. In fact, the only thing he wore that wasn't originally Angel's was a worn pair of cowboy boots. His belly was still swollen from Angel's seed and would remain so until Angel either pulled out the plug or Lindsey's body absorbed it. He could feel the soft leather collar and the leash trailing from it, firmly held in Angel's hand. He shifted on his sore backside and grinned. "It settled. We're really okay..." he whispered. He fully belonged to the vampire- was home- and the bond was settled. He carefully put the guitar back in its case, then turned and snuggled into Angel. "...Yours completely, Utselii... Meae. Forever."

 

Angel wrapped his arms tightly around Lindsey, kissing his life mate over and over. "I love you so much," he murmured. "You're completely mine. I won't let you go ever again." He slid his hands up under his human's shirt, caressing and stroking over bare skin.

 

Lindsey nuzzled against his mate, content to just let Angel touch and caress. For the first time since returning to his mate, he didn't feel as if he _had_ to be _taken_ in order to not be lost. He could just relax in Angel's arms and _be_. It was a good feeling. A really good one. "Tonight, is all ours, but... maybe tomorrow we can meet the others at Lorne's... so they can see we're okay?" he asked hesitantly, not wanting to boss Angel around, but thinking it was important they both connect with their friends, their family, as a united pair again. "It'd be easier if we all lived in one spot..." He laughed faintly, nuzzling Angel again.

 

"That sounds very good," Angel agreed, nuzzling his human's head; perfectly content to sit there with Lindsey on his lap. He gently kissed Lindsey's ears and inhaled his life mate’s scent. "You can wear the collar...but we can leave the leash at home," he commented.

 

"Do you think it would bother them? Seeing me leashed?" Lindsey asked curiously. They'd seen him bare over Angel's lap getting his bottom warmed, so he wouldn't have a problem with it. The connotations of the leash might be difficult for the others, though; he knew that, so he'd follow Angel's decision without even a hint of argument.

 

"They've seen other elements of our relationship, including me putting you over my shoulder and swatting you," Angel commented, running his fingers down Lindsey's spine. "If you want to wear it while we're seeing them...I don't think it'll be a problem."

 

"I.... I feel safe with it on..." Lindsey blushed. "In the house where you've got hold of me in other ways, it doesn't make as big a difference, but when we're outside like now... Even if it isn't obvious..." He acknowledged the fact that, while he was wearing the leash, Angel had positioned it in such a way as to not be obvious to anyone who might stumble across them on the beach (even if it was private and unlikely to happen). "Feeling that I'm connected to it and you have hold of it makes me feel safer; I can physically feel you won't ever let me go again...." He bit his lip and looked down, almost bashfully.

 

"I won't _ever_ let you go again," Angel whispered. "You're my whole world. And I'll leave the leash attached," he promised, drawing Lindsey a bit closer and tighter, adjusting his human's position slightly so he could let his hand rub over his life mate’s bottom.

 

Lindsey smiled, nuzzling into the vampire's neck and sighing softly as his mate dominated him. "Good..." he whispered. "...Cuz I belong to you." He sighed again as Angel rubbed his bottom. It was still tender from Angel proving to him that he was in charge, but even though it stung, he'd rather the vampire constantly touched, rubbed or proved his control than _not_ feel the sting.

 

Angel gently kissed Lindsey's neck, sliding his hand down his human's pants so he could gently rub over the bare skin of his life mate’s bottom and thighs. He kept kissing over the pulse point in Lindsey's neck along with his ears.

 

Lindsey slowly relaxed until his entire weight was laying on Angel and he was nearly purring from the attention. He liked when his master showed his control over him, in whatever form it took. But affection wasn't something Lindsey had had a lot of, so whenever Angel controlled him with that? It left the young lawyer weak and _unwilling_ to disagree or try to get away in the least.

 

Angel pushed Lindsey's pants down, enough to bare his life mate’s backside and make it easier to caress and rub. He rained kisses onto Lindsey, keeping them gentle and soft.

 

Lindsey continued to nuzzle against Angel's shoulder, interspersing the affection with kisses so light, only Angel's vampiric senses could pick up the slight pressure. His purring turned into soft moans and whimpers.

 

Angel rucked up Lindsey's shirt, so he could begin stroking and caressing his life mate’s back too, kissing and stroking.

 

Lindsey whimpered softly, imagining how it must look with his pants pushed down and his shirt rucked up and then imagined his lover shifting him so that he was laying over the vampire's lap, bared from his shoulder blades to his knees. He shivered at the idea.

 

Angel gently moved his human into position, settling Lindsey over his lap. "Your bottom's still red and hot," he commented, running gentle fingers over the heated flesh.

 

"I... I know, master. I feel it..." Lindsey's breath caught in his throat, but he didn't shift from where Angel put him, even as he felt the vampire's cool fingers touching him.

 

Angel leaned over to press a kiss to each scarlet buttock and thigh, then brought his hand down in a firm swat.

 

Lindsey sighed at the kiss, then gasped at the swat, not having been prepared for it. He let out a tiny sob as the sting of his bottom erupted into burning again, his hips thrusting forward in a pointless bid to get his bottom out of the line of fire. It was done unintentionally, without thought, because as soon as Lindsey realized he was trying to shift his bottom away from Angel's swatting, he forced himself to stop and made himself return to the position Angel had placed him in. He couldn't stop the tiny whine that escaped.

 

Angel gently rubbed the spot he'd swatted and then repeated the swat, taking a firm hold of his life mate to keep Lindsey in place.

 

Lindsey's whine turned into a moan and he found himself slumping into the vampire, legs falling akimbo, as he accepted that he was going to receive another spanking. He didn't know if it would be hard and leave him sobbing by the end, or if it would be just firm enough to make him horny and unable to stop himself from rubbing against Angel's lap if the vampire didn't hold him still, but that didn't really matter. He was being spanked, because Angel decided it was time to spank him, and he was going to accept it because he belonged to Angel and what Angel decided was his law. Simple as that.

 

Angel used one hand to part Lindsey's thighs further, giving him room to begin swatting his life mate’s as-yet-unspanked inner thighs. He caught a familiar scent, but as there seemed to be no threat, he remained focused on swatting his human.

 

Lindsey let out a tiny gurgling sound as Angel began to redden his inner thighs, but he left his legs positioned as his mate had left them and accepted Angel's decision, even as he began to sting in new areas.

 

Angel interspersed the swats with rubs and squeezes, fully aware they were being watched; but he didn't care if the person watching saw him taking control of his life mate. Saw Lindsey across Angel's knees with his bottom marked with the sign of his control and ownership.

 

Lindsey didn't notice their watcher. He had a vague sense of something at the corner of his awareness, but as Angel wasn't worried and he trusted his mate to protect him, he didn't care. He let himself go, beginning to whimper, whine and let out tiny sobs at the swats, rubbing and squeezing. He didn't attempt to hold still, trusting in Angel's ability to keep him where the vampire wanted and, as a result, he began to squirm helplessly, providing quite the show to anyone watching; showing just how fully in control Angel was over him and how much he _needed_ to be controlled.

 

Angel swatted until Lindsey's inner thighs were nearly as red as the rest of his bottom and then he returned his attention to his life mate’s backside. _You won't be able to sit down without feeling my control,_ he sent to his human.

 

Lindsey's groan was accepting, and the words somehow enabled him to still... to lay in place and accept each swat as it made his already tender skin more tender and sensitive. His stomach heated, and he felt like molten honey was sliding through his veins as he was unable to do anything at all but accept Angel's decision and desire to make him feel his ownership and control. He didn't know if Angel would continue for minutes or even for hours. What he knew was that, by the time the vampire finished spanking him? There would be no doubt, in _any way_ , who he belonged to and who made the decisions in his life. Angel _controlled_. Angel _owned_. And Lindsey? Was happy.

 

**The End**

 


End file.
